Chris Rock
Opening / Crickets
(Darius McCray as comedy announcer)
Good Evening, Ladies And Gentlemen
Right about now in the place to be,
you are about to be possessed by the sounds of Comedy Show
3 Tickets To Cheryl Pepsii Riley Concert with Special Guest: Ex-Girlfriend, UTFO, Lisa Lisa And Cult Jam With Full Force Bringing Down With Us, We Got $20 Dollars Special Prize Winners At Roscoe's Chicken And Waffles, and just right now we can Let's Start The Show
Are You Ready For Chris Rock?, I Said Are You Ready For Chris Rock?
Okay We Bring Out This Opening Act, you've seen him on Def Comedy Jam, Comic Justice, Comic View, Bernie Mac's Midnight Mac Show, Apollo Comedy Hour, Uptown Comedy Club And It's Showtime At The Apollo, He's Opening Such Acts As Lilo Thomas, Jodeci, Boyz II Men, Quincy Jones, Babyface, Al B. Sure! and Chuckii Booker, You Catch Them This Week Most Episodes Of Moesha And Family Matters, Y'aII give it up for my man The Grand Wizard Of Comedy.. Mr. Reggie Warrington! Give it up!
(Reggie Warrington)
What's up? Oh N***a
It's All up There I said, ""What's up?""
Well I'm Back In This Motherfucker!
Women be shoppin', baby.
Women be shoppin'
You can't stop a woman from shoppin', baby!
That's true. Women do shop
It is true.
See what we got in here tonight. Oh, my God!
She's unbe-weave-abIe. Look at this.
Look Iike a head fuII of curIy fries
Hey, Iook at this white dude right here.
""What is a weave exactIy?"" Huh?
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no!
Baby, no! She got more extensions than AT&T.
Sorry about that, ma'am. Let me pick that up for ya.
(Nicole Kidman)
Back the line up, back the line up
Back the line up, you bitch, son of bitches
[Shari Lewis]
It is 20 yen tonight
[Chris Rock]
20 yen?!
[Nicole Kidman]
20 yen. You do not speak English? 20 fucking yen
This Whole Fucking country of comedy! We Opening act like martin Lawrence And Eddie Murphy Just Like Roseanne Barr
[Chris Rock]
Call Baby, man…
[Crosstalk and arguing]