[Verse 1]
I've always said "I do" too easy and now I'm paying the price
My weakness for beautiful women is my most expensive vice
I still believe in matrimony, but I can't afford another try
Child support and alimony is just about to bleed me dry

[Chorus]
I got ex's all across the country
And I owe everybody in town
I got bill collectors a calling me up
And lawyers trying to track me down
I'm just one wrong move from the poor house
But I don't belong in there
I got so many ex's and owe so much
I ought to be on Hollywood squares
Yeah, I ought to be on Hollywood squares

[Verse 2]
Looking back over my love life, I only have myself to blame
I guess I should've checked my price tag before I gave them my last name
Now my credit ratings in the gutter and the bottom line sure looks bad
I'll be paying the rest of my life for the few good times I've had

[Chorus]
I got ex's all across the country
And I owe everybody in town
I got bill collectors a calling me up
And lawyers trying to track me down
I'm just one wrong move from the poor house
But I don't belong in there
I got so many ex's and owe so much
I ought to be on Hollywood squares
Yeah, they ought to put me on Hollywood squares