She broke up with me
Two days later...
I think she met Don Juan in Italy
She has a new man
I have a new mustache

Now all my friends are gonna call me mountain man
And everyone will think that I'm a stupid drifter
To walk the earth alone
I'll never shave again

On the night she left me
Facial hair grew miraculously
I dressed in black like Johnny Cash
And grew this beard of shame

I've heard it said she looks a lot like Sherilyn Fenn
And some times i'm mistaken for Billy Gibbons
Look like a wise man, but I'm an idiot

It's over
She left me
And she will soon forget me
She found out I was lame
I grew a beard of shame
Come all ye faithful
Joyful and triumphant
I am a new man
I have a beard of shame