[Verse]
Beat my dick but I'll beat yours harder
Nut in your child and nut in your father
It's really cold, it makes my nips harder
Strangled your bitch with an iPhone charger
Angel's gay but The Devil wears Prada
My girlfriend asked me to fuck her harder
Then swallowed my baby-gravy as a starter
I play easy 'cause hard is harder
When this song ends, I'll be a martyr
Try to write lyrics but this shit gets harder
Bitch, I'm Darth Vader up in this shit
Blowing up more Rebel ships than in Pearl Harbour
I Played a Show at The Star and Garter
I took music 'cause I suck at drama
We are taller than Trading Arms, yeah
Choose new rhymes 'cause I'm sick of harder
Calling up Snoop as he tells me, "Fo' shizzle"
Bend him over backwards and I'm fucking Iggle Piggle
My dick ain't straight, it's got a little wiggle
I used to the masturbate to The Wiggles
I can't draw, I only do scribbles
She touched my dick 'til I tell her, "It tickles!"
A group of ****** is called a ******
Where's the toilet? I'm about to trickle
His name's not Michael, it's Mickle
I get to work on a bicycle
Some of these lines need extra syllables
I get kicks out of punching cripples
I've got no money, can you give me a nickel?
I fucked a cactus, it gave me a prickle
It's really cold, can you see my nipples?
No? Can you see my testicles?
[Interlude]
Wait, isn't anyone taller than Trading Arms?

[Outro]
Ouu
Trading Arms are small
Like really really small
Like super fucking small
(Laughs)