[Jemaine]
So you're leaving?
I can tell because I can see you're leaving
But if you're trying to break my heart
Your plan is flawed from the start
You can't break this heart, it's liquid
It melted when I met you
And as you leave, don't turn back to me
Don't turn around to see if I'm crying
I'm not crying, not crying, not crying

I'm not crying, it's just been raining
On my face
And if you think you see some tear tracks down my cheeks
Please, please don't tell my mates

[Bret]
I'm not crying, no, I'm not crying
And if I am crying, it's not 'cause of you
It's because I'm thinking about a friend of mine
You don't know who is dying, that's right, dying

These aren't tears of sadness because you're leaving me
I've just been cutting onions, I'm making a lasagna
For one
Oh, I'm not crying, no
[Jemaine and Bret]
There's just a little bit of dust in my eye
That's from the path that you made when you said your goodbye
I'm not weeping 'cause you won't be here to hold my hand
For your information, there's an inflammation in my tear gland

I'm not upset because you left me this way
My eyes are just a little sweaty today
They've been looking around and are searching for you
They've been looking for you even though I told them not to
These aren't tears of sadness, they're tears of joy
I'm just laughing, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

I'm sitting at this table called love
Staring down at the irony of life
How come we've reached this fork in the road
And yet it cuts like a knife?

I'm not crying
I'm not crying
I'm not crying