Jemaine and Bret:
Frodo, don't wear the ring
I know it's very tempting
Yes, you will appear to disappear
But the dark riders, they'll know you're there
Yes, Lord Sauron has many spies…

Jemaine:
Many spies have many eyes…

Jemaine and Bret:
One ring to find them, to bind them
One ring to rule them all
One ring to find them, one to bind them
One ring to rule them all!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
You've got to rule them
You've got to rule them with the ring
Frodo, rule them
Rule them with the ring!

Jemaine:
Lord Sauron has many spies—beasts and birds

Bret:
I am not a conjurer of cheap tricks!
Jemaine:
B-b-beasts and b-b-birds

Bret:
Do they, Gandalf?

Bret:
If you want him, come and claim him!

Bret:
Merry, Pippin, G-G-Gandalf!

Jemaine:
I'm alright! I was saved by a giant eagle! (roars)

Bret:
Ching ching! Uh! Ah!

Jemaine:
G-g-giant eagle!

Jemaine:
O-o-one r-ring, one r-ring

Jemaine:
You have my sword
Bret:
And my bow

Jemaine:
And my axe!

Jemaine:
G-g-giant eagle!

Jemaine and Bret:
Yo Frodo, what you doin' wearing the ring?
All-powerful jewelry, is that your new thing?
I know it's hard when you're little more than 3 foot 4
Little ass so close to the floor
Trying to lead the fellows to the gates of Mordor
The Fellowship!
(Yeah, the Fellowship)

I don't rap about bitches and hoes
I rap about witches and trolls
Just passing on the words of the Elven king
Wisdom to all
Frodo! Don't wear the ring!

Jemaine and Bret:
Frodo, don't wear the ring
You'll never be the Lord of the Rings
Jemaine and Bret:
Dwarves! Elves! Human beings! Don't know what it is? It's the Lord of the Rings!