[Verse 1: Sebastian Murphy]
She don't like her eggs all runny
She thinks crossin' her legs is funny
She looks down her nose at money
She gets it on like the Easter Bunny

[Chorus: Sebastian Murphy]
She's my baby, I'm her honey
She's my baby, I'm never gonna let her go

[Verse 2: Amy Taylor]
He ain't been laid in a month of Sunday
I caught him once, and he was sniffin' my undies
He ain't too sharp, but he gets things done
Drinks his beer like it's oxygen

[Chorus: Amy Taylor]
He's my baby, I'm his honey
He's my baby, I'm never gonna let him go

[Verse 3: Sebastian Murphy]
She thinks all my jokes are corny
Convict movies make her horny
She likes ketchup on her scrambled eggs
Swears like a sailor when she shaves her legs
[Chorus: Sebastian Murphy]
She takes a lickin', keeps on tickin'
She takes a lickin', I'm never gonna let her go

[Verse 4: Amy Taylor]
He's got more balls than a big brass monkey
A wacked out weirdo, and a lovebug junkie
Sly as a fox, crazy as a loon
Payday comes, and he's a-howlin' at the moon

[Chorus: Amy Taylor]
He's my baby, I don't mean maybe
He's my baby, and I'm his honey
He's my baby, I'm his honey
He's my baby, I'm never gonna let him go

[Bridge: Sebastian Murphy & Amy Taylor]
In spite of ourselves
We'll end up a-sittin' on a rainbow
Against all odds
Honey, we're the big door prize
And we're gonna spite our noses
Right off of our faces
There won't be nothin' but big old hearts
Dancin' in our eyes
[Chorus: Sebastian Murphy, Amy Taylor, Both]
She's my baby
I'm his honey
She's my baby
I'm never gonna let you go