[Verse 1]
Have you ever noticed Andy can’t have candy, can he?
He likes films with morbid endings
Though the sandwich quotas serve the many men he fancies
One whose teeth need drastic mending
Sweet candy
Sweet candy

[Verse 2]
All the women in their sunset years he holds with envy
Their sons he’s still defending
Sweet candy

[Chorus 1]
Sweet candy
Sweet candy
Sweet candy, I want a candy, uh-huh (Sweet candy)
Sweet candy, I want a candy, uh-huh

[Verse 3]
Have you ever noticed Andy can’t have candy, can he?
His appetite left pending
And temptation haunts the chronic masturbator
Has he lost his taste for happy endings?
Sweet candy
[Chorus 2]
Sweet candy, I want a candy, uh-huh (Sweet candy)
Sweet candy, I want a candy, uh-huh
Like you’ve never had
Sweet candy, I want a candy, uh-huh (Sweet candy)
Makes you happy to be bad
Sweet candy, I want a candy, uh-huh (Sweet candy)
Like you’ve never had, sweet candy
Makes you wish you never held them in your hands, sweet candy
Sweet candy
Sweet candy

[Outro]
Sweet candy, I want a candy, uh-huh (Sweet candy)
Sweet candy, I want a candy, uh-huh
Andy can’t have candy, can he?
Sweet candy, I want a candy, uh-huh (Sweet candy)
Andy can’t have candy, can he?
Sweet candy, I want a candy, uh-huh (Sweet candy)
Sweet candy, I want a candy, uh-huh (Sweet candy)
Sweet candy
Sweet candy, I want a candy, uh-huh