[Verse 1]
Answering the telephone is not so hard to do
Once you know the secret which I shall show to you
What you say, that's the key!
And it's easy as it can be!
You can say...

Hello, no, this isn't Ernie's ducky!
Or perhaps....
Hello, you got cookie for me please?
Or...
Hello, you are Caller Number One
But don't say...

[Chorus]
Watermelons and cheese!
No, you don't say...
Watermelons and--
You don't say...
Watermelons and--
You never say...
Watermelons and cheese
Please try again!
This should be a breeze.... watеrmelons and cheese!

(Oh, sorry!)
[Verse 2]
You could have said...
Hеllo? Bernice, it's for you!
Or perhaps...
Hi! Me get off now; me eating cookies!
Or...
Hello, you are Caller Number Two!

(You can do it!)

[Chorus]
Watermelons and cheese!
No, you don't say...
Watermelons and--
You don't say...
Watermelons and--
You never say...
Watermelons and cheese
Please try again!
This should be a breeze.... watermelons and cheese!

(No!)

(Right, jolly good, not a problem; I think I've got it now)

You don't say, you never, never say...
Watermelons and cheese!