(Now only Mike Teavee and Charlie are left. Willy leads the increasingly nervous group through the dark cellars where all his mistakes are kept. Finally they arrive at a room he calls, the Department of The Future, staffed by white suited Oompa-loompa technicians. Willy demonstrates Chocolate Television. Where normal television sends pictures through space, this sends chocolate through space. Mike is intrigued and despite Willy’s protests, he puts himself before the cameras, presses the remote and disappears in a puff of smoke. As a mortified Mrs. Teavee looks on, Willy and the Oompa-loompas search for him on the monitors.)

[MIKE, spoken]
Hey, Wonka, if you can send chocolate by TV, can you send a person too?

[WILLY WONKA, spoken]
Oh, I suppose so, but there might be some technical issues…

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
Alas, alas, poor Mike Teavee
For OMG, he's ADD

[MIKE, spoken]
You can’t stop progress, I’m doing it!

[WILLY WONKA, spoken]
Uh, Mike… no!

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
He's like so many nowadays
It’s awfully modern, this malaise

[MIKE, spoken]
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Mike Teavee TV Show!

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
For every child that threw a fit
The TV set would babysit
[MRS. TEAVEE, spoken]
Mr. Wonka where is he?

[WILLY WONKA, spoken]
I’m looking, I’m looking! There’s so many channels!

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
Attention spans have gone pell-mell
There's only time for LOL

[MRS. TEAVEE, spoken]
The little people are singing again. That’s never a good sign.

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
They never step outside to play
Their world is dark both night and day

[MRS. TEAVEE, spoken]
He’s jumping from screen to screen!

[WILLY WONKA, spoken]
I think it’s called channel hopping.

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
The skies of blue, the pinks, the greens
Are only viewed on laptop screens
[MRS. TEAVEE, spoken]
Get him out of there!

[MIKE, spoken]
I’m on TV! Look at me! Look at me!

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
They only move and exercise

[MRS. TEAVEE, spoken]
What’s happened to him?

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
Their clicking finger and their thumb

[WILLY WONKA, spoken]
He’s shrunk to fi t the TV screen.

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
Each brain cell overloads and dies

[CHARLIE, spoken]
Will he ever go back to normal?

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
As all their limbs are turning numb
[WILLY WONKA, spoken]
No one ever goes back to normal after they’ve been on television.

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
Vidiots!
They’re just vidiots!

The age of innocence is gone
Once certain sites are clicked upon
The images that they repeat
Once in the brain you can’t delete

And then like some barbaric huns
Our toddlers all are packing guns
Now children curse and smoke cigars
Our nurseries now have prison bars

They scream and rant and raise their fists
And fire their psychiatrists
We hear them all, the teenage horde
They scream the battle cry “we’re bored!”

Their minds will surely turn to mush
With words that make an ex-con blush
They never mind their ps and qs
They long for piercings and tattoos

Vidiots!
They’re just vidiots!

[WILLY WONKA, spoken]
It’s years since I’ve been to a rave!

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
With all this info at a click
A book will rot upon the shelf
If all the answers come too quick
A child won’t think for himself

Each day they text on their new toy
Their thoughts and their location
But OMG, will this destroy
The art of conversation?

[WILLY WONKA]
So sing the story, Mrs. T

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
What's now become of Mike Teavee

[MRS. TEAVEE]
From wasting his entire brain

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
He's stuck inside his own domain

[WILLY WONKA]
He'll channel surf till whereupon

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
He'll find that nothing good is on

[MRS. TEAVEE]
And there is no remote control

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
That he can use to find his soul

[WILLY WONKA]
His secrets now are yours and mine

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
'Cause everything he's got's online

[MRS. TEAVEE]
And who will watch just Mike Teavee

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
When there is newer junk to see?

[WILLY WONKA]
What once was viral's soon forgot

[MRS. TEAVEE]
But hand the clicker to his mom

[WILLY WONKA]
His future's not completely shot

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
His new address is

[WILLY WONKA & OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
Mike dot com

[OOMPA-LOOMPAS]
Vidiots!
They're just vidiots!
Vidiots!
They're just vidiots!
They're just vidiots!