[Intro]
Graphic Rap Battle Debates of Philosophy!
Plato vs. Aristotle!
Fight!

[Verse 1: Plato]
Opa harika poli, greetings, I'm the GOAT
The pateras of filosofía, with bedsheets for clothes
I make philosophy complicated from the very onset
Trying to find the universals, it's the problem of concepts
We want virtue, but where we find it?
How could two be one and one, and also be a four divided?
I've never seen a beautiful, but somehow I know it
So I must have learned it before I was born, which means my soul is
Traveling from life to life, which means the body is inferior
And true philosophers discover things in their interior
And teach it to the little men who live a life pathetic
For every word you know, someone had to be prophetic

A philosopher; a man who goes to Heaven slash Hades
Closed off to people that indulge in good food and ladies
It's virtuous to stay away from pleasures of the Earth
Forget the Holy Ghost, I'm the father of Jesus
Christianity's the product of my philosophic best
Western historia wouldn't start if I didn't create
The perfect system of questions: What is true? How do I know?
What should I do? Who should rule? What's art? You're welcome
[Verse 2: Aristotle]
Yo, teacher, I don't mean to disrespect you
But you're wrong so much that to ask you a question is to wreck you
The fuck is this dimension you get information from?
There's one reality I've been to: this one
Let me help you to identify the way to form a concept
The shit ain't from up in Heaven, it's intrinsic in the object
My mom said do the shit that good dudes do
Pretty simple, works for me, Papa Plato, how 'bout you?
Why can't I enjoy the life of moderation with my homies?
If you know a better life than eudaimonia, then show me
And why you act like pleasures of the flesh is so below you?
You been known to fondle little boys more than Jared Fogle

Oh we going there, Teach, matter fact
Let's fast forward to the coming culmination of your thought
The glorious empire of Rome will stumble over and will fall
Because of all the mysticism in the dialogues you taught 'em
Say hello to a millenium of following the orders of a Pope
You could take a bath in Heaven, don't be asking him for soap
Or for more than couple hundred calories to eat a day
Ironic Plato's influence got 'em to kill you if you're gay

[Verse 3: Plato]
I must have had a bit too much wine with my gyro
Are you blaming me for all the problems of medieval Europe?
Roma was devoured by Barbarians and Germans
How you pin the fall of Rome on one Greek dead person?
You're jealous, I'm the father of all philosophers
And the only work of yours was written by Nicomachus
Your own books? Burned! Thrown away! They didn't need it
That doesn't mean you blame authoritarianism on me, then
You ever see me force someone to do anything?
I just thought you could use some help from a philosopher king
Because you're stupid; it's not your fault, we all live in a cave
Only a few could see the light and show the rest of you the way
Up to the real world of forms where everything is perfect
All you see is shadows on the wall without us to interpret
Admit it, most people can't think in big ideas
What, should we let them be in charge?

[Verse 4: Aristotle]
Yeah, it's called democracy, man, we got this
We got five senses, not six
So where you get this abstract outside the box shit?
The world's here in front of us, your forms sound obnoxious
It is what it is, bruh, also known as logic
You gave us the Dark Ages, I gave you science
Aquinas had to hide how much he liked me or he'd die
They would've burned him if they knew the extent of my impact
I brought the Renaissance, Enlightenment, United States, facts
You brought the reoccuring trend of faith in the supernatural
Epic beef is what you find between yourself and Aristotle
It's just the two of us, Plato, we're the Terminators battling
Across the sands of time and we ain't never gonna squash it, n***a, let's go

[Outro: Narrator, Plato, Aristotle]
End battle!
Pretty good, pretty good! ...For my student
Nah, man, your mama's toga's pretty good, that shit was pure fire!
Eh, not as pure as my concepts! You'll get it one day
Man, fuck your concepts!
Ay, I brought filosofía into the world, I could take it away!
Man, first you were like Jared, now you sound like Bill Cosby!
I don't know who is Bill Cosby
He's this black guy in jail for-
Oh, a black man in jail, you're so specific!
Man, I'm trying to be pacific but you keep-
(Unintelligable arguing)