We were all 1 country
It was called Checkerslovakia
But the Czechs were like the N-words of our land
And it's not like there's something wrong with that

Over on our side
We're not like those guys
We're really smart & better dressed
They all are monkey doody trolls
They don't go to church

They're worse than the Kurds
We had to cut this
Land in 2 pieces

I'm not a Czech
I'm Slovak
We'rе so much better
Pleasе don't think I'm
One of them
We're not together

They're dumber than dirt
They have no culture
They watch soccer
Wearing socks and sandals
Drinking beer
And watching fucking hockey
I'm not a Czech
I'm Slovak (Ilava)
I'm not a Czech
I'm Slovak (Ilava)
Prague, Pra-ra-rague
Pra-ra-rague

They like Krtek
He's like their Shrek
They drive in Skodas
And on donkeys

They hate Gypsies
But if you ask me
They're not much better than them
Trust me

They're not a country
We have good pastries
They were part of the Australian-Hungarian Empire

We both have moved on
No reason to bomb
But if it would teach them a lesson I say
Get it baby
I'm not a Czech
I'm Slovak (we have good weather)
Keep on your side of the track
Don't make us madder

Remember Hitler?
Well Czechs are worse
Don't want to offend you
If you're from the Czech Republic
But I think you're racist baby

I'm not a Czech
I'm Slovak (Ilava)
I'm not a Czech
I'm Slovak (Ilava)

Go live in your tents
Good we're not still friends
If you ever try to reunite with us
It won't be pretty

We're the best at bowling
And make sick canoles
In battle we win
We always lost when we were them
I'm not a Czech
I'm Slovak (Ilava)
They're really cheap and they like
Eating Chex

I'm not a Czech
I'm Slovak (Ilava)
They don't need any respect
I'm not a Czech
I'm Slo, I'm Slo
Vak
Baltimore thank you