[Intro]
Howdy there, faggots
It's me, Toby Queef
Everybody wanna hear a story?
Grab your fifth of Beethoven
Or yer moonshine with a little bit o' eggnog in there for good luck
And listen up
The following was all said by Jesus Christ at some point

[Verse 1]
I was drivin' down the street
When the police came to me
And they pulled to me to the curb
And said "Can I see ID?"
And I said, "No sir, fuck you"
You're probably a Jew
So deck the halls and suck my balls
Let's a smoke a blunt or two
Or, you could

[Chorus]
Suck my balls
Suck my balls
Police all to have AIDS (Hey)
Got 'em one day from a bathhouse gang
In Southeastern LA (Yay)
Suck my balls
Suck my Balls
Police all have AIDS (Hey)
So I hit the gas, and I crushed his ass
And then I got away
[Verse 2]
So I drove down to the park
To hunt right after dark
And I saw some hippies dancin'
So I shot one in the heart
And his friend said
"Oh shit, you fuckin' killed him, man!"
Then I made him eat his frisbee, and he threw up in his hand
And I made him

[Chorus]
Suck my balls
Suck my balls
Hippies all have AIDS (Hey)
Got 'em one time from the butt sex vine on a vacation in Spain (Hey)
Suck my balls
Suck my balls
Hippies all have AIDS (Hey)
They smoke their crack, and shoot their smack, and smell like shit all day

[Verse 3]
Went to the tittie bar
'Cause it wasn't too far
Saw a big tittie bitch with a bush so big, one day she'll be a star
She likes Twinkies in her G-String
Or maybe a Hershey bar
Tonight, we gon' cow tippin' in the fuckin' tittie bar (Yeehaw)
[Chorus]
Suck my balls
Suck my balls
Fat bitches love cake
I love to fuck fat bitches, like Catholics like to rape (Hey)
Suck my balls
Suck my balls
Fat bitches love cake
And if you stole this album, Rucka thinks your fuckin' gay

[Outro]
White power
Powder? You know, cocaine?
Yeehaw