[Verse 1]
Excuse me, please get out my way
I'm driving me a little drunk
Buzzed drivin' is drunk drivin'
So might as well get really crunk
I had a 5th of Popov and I topped it off with a little Jag
I had a Margarita and licked all the salt off which is gay
I had me a couple pints of Captain Mo
And ain't hardly feelin' nothin' yet
Had a little drink of Jimmy Beam
I think I might be seein' things
Who the hell is under my Corvette?
And as I drive, I crack open
A beer and chug it down
And I can't see the road

[Chorus]
Tonight, we drive drunk
Rollin' wasted in the Pontiac
With some cognac, and some rum
Tonight, we drive drunk
So I just might kill your father
And your mother, and your son

[Verse 2]
Get rolled by the cops
They ask, "Have you got a beer to spare?"
Yeah, right here
Got half a case of Rollin Rock
Said let's do a toast
We did 2 of those
He said you look drunk
So head on straight home
[Chorus]
Tonight, we drive drunk
Rollin' wasted in the Pontiac
With some cognac, and some rum
Tonight, we drive drunk
So I just might kill your father
And your mother, and your son

[Bridge]
Driving drunker than a Lohan
Sipping rum and coke and
Pissing in a coke can
Speedometer's broken
(Driving drunk tonight)
Sipping on Bacardi
(Driving drunk tonight)
Winning like I'm Charlie
(Driving drunk tonight)
Listening to Marley
(Driving drunk tonight)
Watching some iCarly

[Verse 3]
Coulda take'd the bus and gone safely off
Coulda raped a slut or stayed at home
And taken drugs
But I'm drivin' drunk with hoes in the trunk
And if I see Trayvon, I'm drivin' him home
[Chorus]
Tonight, we drive drunk
Rollin' wasted in the Pontiac
With some cognac, and some rum
Tonight, we drive drunk
So I just might kill your father
And your mother, and your son

[Outro]
And as I drive I crack open
A beer and chug it down
I can't see the road
Tonight