[Intro: Donald Trump, TV, Carolla & Barack Obama]
ApprentEHHH *cough, cough*
Now Carolla, Why did ya team lose?
Now hold on a second and by the way-
We interrupt this program for Obama to say something
My fellow Americans
I'd like to announce that I'm running for uh
President of America
As a black man this time

[Verse 1: Barack Obama]
I did some time in Jail
I did a crime with Michelle
We stole some fried watermelon
Yip Yippity Ki Yay
I'm known to smack up a bitch
I got Kool-Aid in the fridge
I never met my kids
Their real dad is Kanye

[Pre-Hook: Barack Obama]
Guns? Yeah, I sold em
Hoes? Tricks? Yeah, I told em
Blunts? Spliffs? Yeah, I rolled em
Chronic nugs of homegrown K.B
[Hook: Barack Obama]
Hey I just mey you (Ahhh Help!)
No please don't tase me
My name's Obama
I was born in Haiti
I still get food stamps
I'm just Lazy
I'm still on welfare
So fuck you pay me
They Might Arrest you
But you could blame me
They'll pull me over
Incarcerate me
If I get unemployed
Shit don't phase me
My name's Obama
I roll with Jay-Z

[Interlude: Barack Obama]
Jay-Z, Jee, Jeezer?
Are you young Jeezer?
How'd you get in the White House?

[Verse 2: Barack Obama]
I smoke a lot of Newports
I sit a lot on the porch
I stole 2012 Porsche
From my neighbor's driveway
I did a lot of drug deals
I killed Osama for treals
I blamed it on Navy SEALS
And fucked his bitch sideways
[Pre-Hook: Barack Obama]
Bro, yeah I'm holdin'
Rocks, Weed, Meth, Heroin
White House garden showin'
What you think I'm growin'? Daisies?

[Hook: Barack Obama]
Hey I just met you (Ahhh Help!)
No It's OK see
My name's Obama
I'm half Kuwaiti
It's hard to look white
Robbing Macy's
Give me the FUBU
Don't try to play me
Hey I just met you (Ahhh Help!)
No please don't mace me
My name's Obama
I dance like Swayze
If you live in Detroit
Yawta thank me
My name's Obama
I'm Pakistani

[Post-Hook: Barack Obama]
Before I came in the White House
I used to smoke crack
I used to sold crack
I used to roll so black
I was born in Dubai
I'd like to go back
Where's all my hoes at?
Take off your clothes
And don't talk back
[Bridge: Barack Obama]
Now the American people
Have a clear choice
Would you like to be smacked with a pimp cane?
Or with the back of my hand?
It's hard to look white
When I'm smackin' Ladies
So it's no wonder
Y'all crackers hate me

[Hook: Barack Obama]
Hey I just met you (AHHH Help!)
And this is crazy
I stealed your Hummer
And throwed your baby
Sandusky touched a boy
Or so they say see
My name's Obama
Chicken is tasty

[Post-Hook: Barack Obama]
Before I came in the White House
I used to smoke crack
I use to sold crack
I use to roll so black
If all you haters don't like me
Lick my ballsack
Ya'll haters fall back
So fuck you pay me

[Outro: Barack Obama]
I mean do we really need another black guy on unemplyment
Right now?
I'm sorry I get that from my mother
She is a Typical white person