[Intro: Preacher & Brother Toby]
And Jesus said "That is my foot"
Lordy glory Hallelujah
Everybody have yourselves a Merry Christmas
The collection plates are going around, brotha
Sista Mary! Jesus told me to tell you the rash I gave you will go away in three to five weeks
God bless you all
And remember, Christmas don't come 'til the first or fifteenth of January
Ha ha, Brotha Toby, please come brace us with a song
I'm high as hell right now, I don't know

[Verse]
Stuff your bong with pills of Molly
Fa la la la la la la la la
Smoke some paint with your friend, Holly
Fa la la la la la la la la
Let's snort some gas and huff some roofies
Fa la la la la la la la la
Bong some crack and watch Judge Judy
Fa la la la la la la la la
Make some moonshine in my bathtub
Fa la la la la la la la la
Thank your mother for the ass rub
Fa la la la la la la la la
Hippies suck and you're a asshole
Fa la la la la la la la la
My farts smell just like White Castle
*Farting*
[Outro]
*Laughing*