[Intro]
Ay, yar
This be the story of baby Jesus

[Verse]
Jesus was *hiccup*
Jesus was sailing his manger on the seven seas (He was?)
It was then that the great Muslim prophet, Jesus
Told the Jews "You better stop eating Chinese food on Thee birthday"
But the Jews, being Jews, would not stop going to the fucking movies on Christmas
Nor would they cease to order Chinese food
So Jesus hopped on his magical dinosaur
And went to the moon, where he met with Obama and Hitler
To plan out the next 2000 years, yar
Jesus skowered the seven seas for forty days and forty nights
After being swallowed by a fish, he was reborn
And met Kanye
Who was gay