[Intro: Cookie Monster sample]
Okay
Time to rhyme
With Cookie!

[Verse 1]
Hello boys and girls, I'm the Crookie Monster
Anybody who steps to me, yo i'll put it on ya
You know i'm a puppet, and out here, sitting thick
Holding the fort on sesame street, me and my clique
We eat crookie, made from weed
Ooh yummy yummy yummy!
Nobody in the industry can ever take my style from me
I got a call on my cellular phone from The Count:
"I don't like when they smoke all my weed then they bounce!"
But actually, right down the block in back of me
Snuffleupagus is selling all the crack happily
Ya'll didn't know how I met Oscar: you know Maria?
We bumped her and tossed her
He so pissed off cuz he lost her
Seen him when he try to floss her, then his whole clique flipped
Messing with the crookie monster then he got the bitch whipped
Now it's all on your thing when the whole block buggin
I should have never [?] Mr. Cooper's fucking cousin

[Chorus]
The Crookie Monster
(COOKIE!!!)
I'm the Crookie Monster
Sing along with me, sing a song with me
I'm the Crookie Monster
(COOKIE!!!)
I'm the Crookie Monster
Sing along with me, sing a song with me
[Verse 2]
Me and Bert and Ernie was getting dirty in Romper Room
Smoking hash, popping tabs, open a lot of mushrooms
Word to the father, I asked Maria if I could massage her
One day I caught her out there fucking Mister Rogers
While he was singing, taking off his socks and his shoes
I'm the fucking Crookie Monster, still paying my dues
One day i had to stomp out Oscar, left him on the curb
Got me some real bad herb from Big Bird
Smacked him so hard, till he lost his feathers
I love my crookie, forever and ever and ever and ever
Oh yeah, you didn't know that I could rap on the track?
Boys and girls let me tell you, the Crookie Monster is back

[Chorus]
The Crookie Monster
I'm the Crookie Monster
(COOKIE!!!)
I'm the Crookie Monster
Sing along with me, sing a song with me
I'm the Crookie Monster
(COOKIE!!!)
I'm the Crookie Monster
Sing along with me, sing a song with me

[Bridge: Cookie Monster et al., samples]
You-you-you-you want a cookie?
That's right!
(COOKIE!)
Hey you, hey
What are you waiting for?
COOKIE!
[Verse 3]
Oh where's the blunts? On the ash tray
That n***a Julio? Oh shit, he's past gay!
OK, the last day I'm gonna kiss Helena Rubinstein
I don't need to keep it clean, fuck a channel 13
I'm on the scene with big brillas
[?] Crookie Monster, she keep the baby pictures
For all my fuzzy n***as
Yo everybody, I'm realer than you think
I beat up Kermit told him Miss Piggy and her pussy stink
How much you want to bet? Hell you ain't no threat
I run Sesame Street, I got the whole block [?]
I could be bigger and larger than Master P or Puffy
I'm the fucking Crookie Monster, the whole world loves me

[Chorus]
The Crookie Monster
I'm the Crookie Monster
(COOKIE!!!)
I'm the Crookie Monster
Sing along with me, sing a song with me
I'm the Crookie Monster
(COOKIE!!!)
I'm the Crookie Monster
Sing along with me, sing a song with me
[Outro: Grover & Herry Monster]
Listen, everybody!
These are all VERY SECRET MONSTER THINGS
And we're gonna tell you because we like you!