[Verse 1]
I did cocaine with David Blaine
He made my blow disappear, mayne
We pulled the train off Ms. Love Hewitt
She knows what I did last summer, stupid
Oh please, Tara Reid
Took her to eat, she was scared of the beef
So I had to fuck Jessica Simpson
In the kitchen, while she was fixing some chicken
And her little sister, Ashley
Was waiting in the pantry
Spreading her ass cheeks
Yelling, "Dirt Nasty!"
Tell her shit
"Hurry up with the Teriyaki"
Then I did Demi in the pooper
With a semi, she thought I was Kutcher
Dude I heard a rumor (What's that?)
Alyssa Milano is good for a nooner
I ain't mad at Jennifer Aniston
Took it in the ass at the Hotel Radisson
Her dad thought it was the Pitt's
Cause when he walked in
I was pinchin' her tits
Now picture this
I got a photo of Fred Durst's dick
It's about an inch
For real, I stole it from his bitch
Some think that I'm phony homie
I play with my penis like Adrien Brody
Fuck you sue me
I'll be sniffin' ruffies with George Clooney

[Chorus]
L.A. is like Groundhog Day
Same old shit, never fucking rains
Droppin' names, what a shame
Never thought I'd turn out this way
L.A. is like Groundhog Day
Same old shit, never fucking rains
Droppin' names, what a shame
Never thought I'd turn out this way

[Verse 2]
I bursted the cunt
Drew first blood on Kirsten Dunst
And what about the Olsens?
At the Golden Globes
Holdin' my scrotum
Where to fuck Hillary Duff?
I'mma make her smoke dust and choke nuts
No I'm not kiddin'
I'll Moulin Douche Nicole Kidman
Head spinnin' from the Vodka
Courtney Cox sucked my cock in a Mazda
Near Jamba Juice
In the parking lot, bombin' on Tom Cruise
His dick's like a needle
Mine's Titanic, ask Leo
Or Vin Diesel
We were shootin' speed in his agent's Regal
I'm harming my rectum
Pardon my French, Carmen Electra
And Haley Joel Osment
Is gonna be doin' coke before his balls be droppin
My nards aren't clean
I've been partying with Charlie Sheen
Hey Angelina Jolie
Why don't you put them lips on my Roman Cannoli
Like Monica Bellucci
I heard the coochie, smells like Bleu Cheese
I'm horny for beaver
Gimme a call, Sigourney Weaver
[Chorus]
L.A. is like Groundhog Day
Same old shit, never fucking rains
Droppin' names, what a shame
Never thought I'd turn out this way
L.A. is like Groundhog Day
Same old shit, never fucking rains
Droppin' names, what a shame
Never thought I'd turn out this way