My parents paid for college and I wonder why
To have me be a comic flipping burgers on the side
You can't have an apartment making 8.75
Let alone car insurance after two DWIs
I don't think I can write enough songs to stay alive
I would turn to prostitution, but I don't think I'd get by

My brain's so fried I don't think I could pass a drug test
And if my daddy weren't a lawyer, I'd probably be in jail by now (it also helps to be white)
Throw your hands in the air on my emotional roller coaster
Everybody do the mood swing

[Chorus:]
I'll never amount to anything
I'll never amount to anything
I'll never amount to anything
I’ll nevеr amount to nothin'

My therapist said focus on the now and herе
So I savor all the flavor when I pound a beer
I get heart palpitations and panic attacks
But I don't think I could trust myself around Xanax
My therapist said I should take my meds
But that's --- exactly what the government wants me to do

I switch banks every time I overdraw my checking account
I'm at a point where 100 dollars could change my life (if I didn't spend it on cigarettes)
You'll drag bodies from my emotional wreckage, baby
What's the point of trying?

[Chorus:]
I'll never amount to anything
I'll never amount to anything
I'll never amount to anything
I'll never amount to nothin'

In first grade they tell you you could be the president
But I can't even get people to follow me on Twitter
I drink and I smoke, and I never use a rubber
And also I play the lottery
Raised in suburbia to die in the streets
But my parents still say that they're proud of me

I'll be a sewer of emotionally-draining shit
And it'll take more than a manhole to shut me up (haha, manhole)
You'll lose your luggage at my emotional baggage claim
You'll lose your luggage at my emotional baggage claim
Poster boy of eugenics

[Chorus:]
I'll never amount to anything
I'll never amount to anything
I'll never amount to anything
I'll never amount to nothin'

Anything
I'll never amount to anything
I'll never amount to anything
I'll never amount to nothin'