Another Song About How Bad I Am at Life

My parents paid for college and I wonder why

To have me be a comic flipping burgers on the side

You can't have an apartment making 8.75

Let alone car insurance after two DWIs

I don't think I can write enough songs to stay alive

I would turn to prostitution, but I don't think I'd get by



My brain's so fried I don't think I could pass a drug test

And if my daddy weren't a lawyer, I'd probably be in jail by now (it also helps to be white)

Throw your hands in the air on my emotional roller coaster

Everybody do the mood swing



[Chorus:]

I'll never amount to anything

I'll never amount to anything

I'll never amount to anything

I’ll nevеr amount to nothin'



My therapist said focus on the now and herе

So I savor all the flavor when I pound a beer

I get heart palpitations and panic attacks

But I don't think I could trust myself around Xanax

My therapist said I should take my meds

But that's --- exactly what the government wants me to do



I switch banks every time I overdraw my checking account

I'm at a point where 100 dollars could change my life (if I didn't spend it on cigarettes)

You'll drag bodies from my emotional wreckage, baby

What's the point of trying?



[Chorus:]

I'll never amount to anything

I'll never amount to anything

I'll never amount to anything

I'll never amount to nothin'



In first grade they tell you you could be the president

But I can't even get people to follow me on Twitter

I drink and I smoke, and I never use a rubber

And also I play the lottery

Raised in suburbia to die in the streets

But my parents still say that they're proud of me



I'll be a sewer of emotionally-draining shit

And it'll take more than a manhole to shut me up (haha, manhole)

You'll lose your luggage at my emotional baggage claim

You'll lose your luggage at my emotional baggage claim

Poster boy of eugenics



[Chorus:]

I'll never amount to anything

I'll never amount to anything

I'll never amount to anything

I'll never amount to nothin'



Anything

I'll never amount to anything

I'll never amount to anything

I'll never amount to nothin'