Richard M. Sherman & Robert B. Sherman, George Stiles
Practically Perfect
[MARY POPPINS]
By the time the wind has blown the weather vane around
I'll show you if I can
No matter what the circumstance for one thing I'm renowned
My character is spit-spot-spic and span

I'm practically perfect in every way

[JANE]
Practically Perfect?

[MARY POPPINS]
So people say
Each virtue virtually knows no bound
Each trait is great and patently sound

I'm practically perfect from head to toe
If I had a fault it would never dare to show
I'm so practically perfect in every way

Both prim and proper and never too stern
Well-educated yet willing to learn
I'm clean and honest my manner refined
And I wear shoes of the sensible kind

I suffer no nonsense and whilst I remain
There's nothing else I feel I need to explain
I'm practically perfect in every way
Practically perfect - that's my forte
Uncanny nannies are hard to find
Unique yet meek, unspeakably kind

I'm practically perfect not slightly soiled
Running like an engine thats just been freshly oiled!
I'm so practically perfect in every way

(spoken)
Well those are my credentials - perhaps you have a few questions?

[MICHAEL]
Not tempermental?

[MARY POPPINS]
Never

[MICHAEL]
Not grouchy or gruff?

[MARY POPPINS]
Oh! The very thought

[JANE]
Will you stay tender when the going gets tough?
[MARY POPPINS]
Quite the contrary

[MICHAEL]
Do you read stories without a big fuss?

[JANE]
Or have objections to playing with us?

[MARY POPPINS, spoken]
Oh I like games - but I choose them

(sung)
Some minor improvements may not go a miss
But at all times you must remember this

[JANE AND MICHAEL]
Your'e practically perfect in every way

[MARY POPPINS]
I guarantee!

[JANE AND MICHAEL]
Practically perfect we hope you stay

[MARY POPPINS]
No flies on me
Each virtue virtually knows no bound
Each trait is great -
[ALL]
And patently sound

[MARY POPPINS]
Spit spot!

(vocalizing)

[MARY POPPINS, spoken]
Jane, put your toys away, please

[JANE]
Do I have to?

[MARY POPPINS]
Yes - Michael, tidy your things

[MICHAEL]
It's not fair!

[MARY POPPINS]
I didn't say I was fair, I said -

(sung)
I'm practically perfect and here's my aim
By the time I leave here you both will be the same
You'll be practically perfect

[JANE AND MICHAEL]
Practically perfect

[ALL]
You/we will be practically perfect in every way!