Eddie Perfect
That Beautiful Sound
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Do you hear that sound?

*[GIRL SCOUT SCREAMS]*

[LYDIA, spoken]
That beautiful sound?

*[GIRL SCOUT SCREAMS]*

[BETELGEUSE]
That is the sound, of clean, white, shorts turning brown
Torture and pain

*[GIRL SCOUT SCREAMS]*

[BETELGEUSE (GIRL SCOUT, spoken)]
Breaking a brain (This is so weird!)
A sound that says "I will never sleep well again"

*[GIRL SCOUT SCREAMS]*

[LYDIA]
The sound of a scream, is music to me
A sound that says fifteen years full-time therapy
[BETELGEUSE]
Trauma and fear, it sings in my ear

[BETELGEUSE & LYDIA]
Ain't it the sweetest noise around?
That beautiful sound

*[Doorbell sounds]*

[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Ooh! Someone’s at the door

[LYDIA, spoken]
You wanna answer it this time?

[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
More than anything!

[LYDIA, spoken]
Don't oversell it, act natural

[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Come on, you're giving me advice?

[U.S. CENSUS BUREAU GUY, spoken]
Hello, I’m with the U.S. Census Bureau, time for a few -- OH MY GOD!
[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Hi

[U.S. CENSUS BUREAU GUY, spoken]
How many people live here?

[LYDIA, spoken]
Just me

[U.S. CENSUS BUREAU GUY, spoken]
Oh, and you?

[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
I don't live here, I'm dead!

*[U.S. CENSUS BUREAU GUY SCREAMS]*

[BETELGEUSE (LYDIA)]
Panic and stress (Panic and stress)
Oh, ain't it the best? (ain't it the best)
The sound of heart (heart)
Exploding inside a chest (exploding inside a chest)

[LYDIA]
It fills you with pride
[BETELGEUSE]
We're ruining lives

[BETELGEUSE & LYDIA]
Ain't it the sweetest noise in town?
That beautiful sound

[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Hey! You know what would make all this even more awesome?

[LYDIA, spoken]
What?

[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
More me!

[BETELGEUSE, sung]
All we wanna do is hear that sound
All we wanna do is hear that sound
Fellas!

[ALL BETELGEUSES]
All we wanna do is hear that sound
All we wanna do is hear that sound

All we wanna do is hear that sound
All we wanna do is hear that sound

All we wanna do is hear that sound
All we wanna do is hear that sound

[INSTRUMENTAL]

*[DOORBELL RINGS]*

[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Ooh, ooh, somebody's at the door; alright, let’s make some more people scream!

[DELIVERY MAN, spoken]
Package for Deetz?

[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
You know overnight delivery cost extra?

[LYDIA, spoken]
What a rip off

*[DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN]*

[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Ohh! Okay, okay - shh!

[PIZZA DELIVERY MAN, spoken]
Pizza for Deetz

[LYDIA, spoken]
Hey, what’d you order?

[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Pepperoni, mushrooms and snakes!

[PIZZA DELIVERY MAN, spoken]
Snakes?

*[DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN]*

[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Ugh, holy moly, a lot of people come to this house, lights!

[NEXTDOOR NEIGHBOR, spoken]
Hello? New neighbors?! I brought you a pie...
It's from the store! Oh, I don’t see anything -- Aah!

[BETELGEUSE, spoken]
Hi there!
Ahahaha! Hey Lydia, check this out--
Dance break!

Lady, you're forgetting something!

[NEXTDOOR NEIGHBOR, spoken]
My pie!

[BETELGEUSE (OTHER BETELGEUSES)]
Yes I hear that sound (Yes, we do)

[LYDIA (OTHER BETELGEUSES)]
That beautiful sound (Yes, we do, it's beautiful)

A sound that means
No more condescending adults
Hanging around

[BETELGEUSE]
Every groan

[BETELGEUSE & LYDIA]
Each wail and each moan
Adds up to Daddy's leavin’-

[LYDIA (BETELGEUSES)]
Me the hell alone!
Hey look at me hey (We're looking at you girl)
I'm finally free (You're finally free girl)
I was invisible (She was invisible)

[ALL BETELGEUSES & LYDIA]
But now they all see

[LYDIA]
They're out of my grill
Because of that

[ALL BETELGEUSES & LYDIA]
Shrill symphony

Ain't it the sweetest noise around?
That beautiful sound (That sound)
Sound (That sound)
Sound (That sound)
Sound

That beautiful sound
That beautiful sound
That beautiful sound

That beautiful sound