[Part I]

[Intro: Petra Mede]
All of Sweden stood up and cheered
When Loreen won in the end
But then I heard some people sneer
"Did those bastards win again?"

[Verse 1: Petra Mede]
So here we are once more
Might seem like we've been here before
We've hosted the contest more than most
That's why we must recycle the host
And while we've given the world the pacemakеr machine
Spotify and Volvo, and school-striking teens
We're still most proud of our Schlagеr queens

[Interlude: Charlotte Perrelli]
Ta-da, I'm back!

[Verse 2: Charlotte Perrelli, Petra Mede]
When the contest calls, I show up every time
And sing the same songs since '99
No, it's not a deja vu
Yes, we're slightly obsessed
But this competition is what we do best
[Refrain: Petra Mede and Charlotte Perrelli]
So please don't be angry with us
We just love Eurovision too much

[Instrumental Interlude]

[Verse 3: Charlotte Perrelli, Petra Mede]
You have to understand, this is Sweden
It's cold and dark
We were desperate for an effort to ignite a spark
So this contest gave us the idea
To show you all we're more than depression and Ikea
In Spain they got flamenco, in France they got the brie
But if you google Sweden, this is what you'll see
(*funny sound*)
Greece has got honey, Norway's got money
Denmark has... well, something
But in Sweden, we teach our kids in school
More than history and sports
They learn that the Eurovision is cool
And non-political, of course
That writing songs is the ultimate success
If not for Sweden, then try your luck for Cyprus

[Refrain: Petra Mede and Charlotte Perrelli]
So please don't be angry with us
We just love Eurovision too much
[Instrumental Interlude]

[Verse 4: Sarah Dawn Finer]
Hello!
Hello!
Hello, Eurovision, I'm from the EBU
With just one mission: to check the votes from you
'Bout Sweden's domination, there is nothing we can do
'Cause they keep sending songs that stick like a tattoo
Loreen won by a margin and got the golds again
Just like she did in Azer-jai-ban

[Refrain: Sarah Dawn Finer]
So please don't be angry and make a fuss
They just love Eurovision too much
Woah!

[Post-Refrain: Petra Mede and Charlotte Perrelli]
We can hear your complaints, we can feel your fury
When they close the vote and we meet the jury

[Skit: ?]
Hello! Thank you for a wonderful show
Super entertainment
This is my wife
Hello, Europe!
Twelve points goes to... Sweden!
(*flute-playing*)
Sweden!
Hey, hello in the boo-boo-mania!
Here are the votes from Lithuania! What's up?
Twelve points go to... Sweden!
[Spoken Interlude]
"Twelve points go to... Sweden"
"Sweden!"
"Sweden!"
"Sweden!"
"Sweden!"
"Sweden!"

[Refrain: Petra Mede and Charlotte Perrelli]
Please don't be angry with us
They just love Swedish music too much

[Verse 5: Charlotte Perrelli, Petra Mede, Charlotte Perrelli and Petra Mede]
Last year the one who almost gotcha
Was a green and loony Finn
Who threatened us with cha-cha-cha-cha
And almost took the win
You would all have loved to pack for a Helsinki trip
Where the interval act would have looked like this

[Part II: Ievan Polkka]

[Verse: ?]
Ievan suu oli vehnäsellä ko immeiset onnee toevotti
Peä oli märkänä jokaisella ja viulu se vinku ja voevotti
Ei tätä poikoo märkyys haittaa
Sillon ko laskoo laiasta laitaan
Salivili hipput tupput täppyt äppyt tipput hilijalleen

[Part III: Cha Cha Cha]

[Verse: Käärijä]
Rankka viikko ja paljon pitkii päiviä takan
Mielenkiintona piña colada ja rata
Ilta on vielä nuori ja aikaa kumota
Tää jäinen ulkokuori on aika tuhota

[Chorus: Käärijä]
Pidän kaksin käsin kiinni juomista niinku
(Cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha)
Ei, en mieti huomista ku tartun tuopista niinku
(Cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha)
Ei, haluun olla sekasin ja vapaa huolista niinku
(Cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha)
Ei, ja mä jatkan kunnes en enää pysy tuolissa niinku

[Post-Chorus: Käärijä]
Nyt lähden tanssimaan
Niinku cha-cha-cha
Enkä pelkääkään tätä maailmaa
Niinku cha-cha-cha
Kun mä kaadan päälleni samppanjaa
Cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha, cha

[Segue: Käärijä, Petra Mede]
Thank you!
I love you!
[?]
(*applause*)
But do you know what?
Do you know what, guys?
I'm afraid that didn't happen

[Part IV]

[Verse: Petra Mede, Charlotte Perrelli, and Sarah Dawn Finer | Sarah Dawn Finer, Petra Mede]
So you can boo all you want, we're not sorry we won
For a Swede, this is oxygen and lifeblood in one
It's just a game for other nations, for us it's medication
They need this like a grandma needs her drum
But we shall go from 12 points to ten
So we promise we won't win again
Well, maybe just one more time, so we can beat Ireland

[Outro: Petra Mede, Charlotte Perrelli, and Sarah Dawn Finer | Sarah Dawn Finer, Petra Mede]
So please don't be mean, we won't keep sending Loreen
We hear your complaints and agree (they agree)
But please don't be angry with us
We beg you, please don't be angry with us
We just love Eurovision too much
[?]
Now you really do