I stayed up till 5 A.M. again
Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-Facebook stalkin' my more successful friends
Jack's got a house, Jane's in Tangier
I made 11 thousand dollars last year
Your girlfriend's a 10 and mine's not even real
Facebook stalkin' my more successful friends
Da da da da da da da da da
Oooh, hi ay ay ay

Jeff just got cast on an HBO show
I'm on my ass watching HBO Go
But I can't pay attention 'cause I'm checkin' my phone
Facebook stalkin' my more successful friends

You got 99 likes on a pic from Throwback Thursday
Of you doin' hover hand with Helen Hunt
My timeline's dead year-round except my birthday (aw, so sad!)
And I haven't had a friend request in months

But I only get half the story when
I'm fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-Facebook stalkin' my more successful friends
'Cause Jack's new house just got repossessed
Jane's in jail in Tangier for writing fake checks
HBO got Zach Braff and fired poor Jeff
And Jeff's cat just got feline AIDS
Ba da da da da meow meow meow
That's the worst kind of AIDS there is
They all make it look like they're livin' the dream
But nobody's life is as cool as it seems
You can bet your sweet ass they're just as lonely as me
Facebook stalkin' my more successful friends
Ba da da da da da da da
Facebook stalkin' my more successful friends