CollegeHumor
Angela Merkel Rap! (HAMILTON Parody)
How does a female fraulein
Heir of a pole, and a pastor
Raised in the wake of the second world war in eastern Germany
Did confidence empower little Angela
To turn into a chemist and a chancellor?

Pre-politician
Mad ambition
She was wishing dreams to fruition
Gotta give her recognition
The sister was on a mission
Got a letter of admission
To Leipzig U
A school with a boys only tradition

And every day while men were getting
Raises and praises for days
Angiе worked like a slave
To keep hеr grades up
Inside she was eager
For more than meager pay
The sister was breakin'
Glass ceilings to pave the way

When she was just nine
She stood paralyzed
On the edge of a diving board
But let's clarify
She wasn't petrified
Rather trying to analyze
Would this be her demise?
Would she sink?
Would she rise?
After standing by and waiting
The kids began to taunt
"You always take too long" she said
I do what I want
She weighed her pros and cons
And jumped as school bells rang
And they didn't even know her name
"What's your name, girl?"
Angela Merkel
My name is Angela Merkel
And there's a million things I'm gonna change
Just you wait
Just you wait

At twenty three, she got hitched
To Mr. Ulrich Merkel
Five years later the twosome
Lose that honeymoon sperkle
They split
She was ashamed but she overcame
Then Ulrich hit the road
But I kept his last name

Moved into a new flat
A new flat in the bad part of town
Lived like a squatter, no water
Her father came around, he said
"Angie, baby, you haven't gotten far
Living dirty turning thirty
Serving cocktails at the bar

That would have been the curtain call
For someone less enthralling
But in '89 the Cold War stopped
The Berlin Wall went falling
Angie watched
Side by side with the wide world
Our jaws dropped
Uniting East and West Berlin
Unravelling the eastern bloc
Decided
To give politics a whirl
Invited
To office despite being a girl
"Adios, Ms. Merkel"
"Auf Wiedersehen"
"Ciao"

In Berlin you can be a new frau
In Berlin you can be a new frau
Just you wait
In Berlin you can be a new frau
Just you wait
In Berlin you can be a new frau
Just you wait
In Berlin
Just you wait

Angela Merkel
Everybody cheers for you
You're the person of the year
It says so on the cover of TIME
Angela Merkel
The whole world sings for you
'Cause we know what you overcame
We know that you changed the game
Our world
Will never be the same
Ohhhhhh
Putin tried to bully her
Her brother is Obama
Was a nerdy German girl
Now we call her mama
Don't know how to hold your hands
Are they glued together?

We inspired her
We instructed her
We elected her
We admire her
Her?

I've never even heard of her

There's a million things I'm gonna change
Just you wait
What's your name, girl?
Angela Merkel