[SAM]
A 1, 2, 3, 4--

[DAN]
W-wait, when do I come in?

[SAM]
You come in after "4."

[DAN]
So on "5"?

[SAM]
Yes, but I'm not gonna say "5."
I'm not gonna say "5..."

[DAN]
OK

[SAM]
You have to come in at "4."
Alright, 1, 2, 3, 4, now!

[DAN]
If you say, "How are you?"
I'll say "Not much."
My hand and your boob
Accidentally touch
I snort when I laugh
And I fart when I sneeze
Stand right behind this guy
When he pees

If I see you wavin'
My hand goes in the air
Even though you're wavin'
To that guy over there

I talk shit about you
Like a sly fox
'Til I realize that I wrote it
In your I.N. box

When a waiter says
"Enjoy your food"
Every single time I will say
"Oh, you too"

I mean it, yo
Have a seat next to me
Pour yourself a cup
Of my dig-

[SAM]
-ni-
[AMIR]
-ty-y!

[DAN]
How is your boyfriend?
You two really click
Oh, you broke up?
That guy was a dick

'Scuse me, I cannot
Reach the top rack
Oh, you don't work here
You're just black?

[Chorus]
Awkward!
When will this moment pass?
Awkward!
I feel like such an ass!
Awkward!
It makes my skin crawl!
Awkward!
Yo, yo, it makes me feel so small!

[SAM]
When I see you
I give you a quizzical look
Do I know you from life
Or from Facebook?
You're far away
And cause we can't talk yet
We'll act like our eyeballs
Never met

When we talk
I gotta hide my shame
You think we're B.F.F's
But I don't know your name

So here we in are no-

[AMIR]
-Man's-

[DAN]
-Land!

[SAM]
Do I give you a hug
Or just shake your hand?

I go for the embrace
So warm and pleasin'
You try to pull away
But I keep on squeezin'

You try to pass by
But we bump and sway
Heh, thanks for the dance
I'll be on my way

We said our goodbyes
And I shed a tear
Miss you already
Wha--, you're still here!

I want to avoid
Further social connection
So I walk twenty minutes
In the wrong direction

[Chorus]
Awkward!
When will this moment pass?
Awkward!
I feel like such an ass!
Awkward!
You think it can't get worse?
Awkward!
Yo, yo! But we've got one more verse

[AMIR]
On the elevator ride
You want to impose
I say I'm pressin' "open"
But I press "door close"

If you make it in
I will devise
A way to look everywhere
But in your eyes

Then I follow you
Right out the door
Take a look around
This ain't my floor

Ring goes ya' phone
So put it to your cheek
I didn't mean to call you
But now we gotta speak

One last thing
When my voice gets loud
And there's suddenly silence
In the crowd

I don't care
Won't change what I say
All these people
Are dicks anyway-y!

[WOMAN]
What?

[AMIR]
What?... were you? This guy was all like--

[DAN]
Just don't...

[AMIR]
No, I do not think you guys are dicks anyway... no way. He w-- I don't know-- was super...
Look-- have you guys looked at the walls? What are color are they, like, they... awkward-marine? He he. Ahhhl. When's daylight savings? That's spring forward...?

[SAM]
Fall back

[AMIR]
It's June. Fall back... it's...