[Intro: Lydia Madajewski]
Oh, Ralph, oh, Ralph, don't make love by yourself
It's five to twelve, don't leave me on the shelf
I wanna taste it, so please, don't waste it
You're not a hanky-panky-wanky man
Oh, Ralph, oh, Ralph

[Post-Intro: Lydia Madajewski (regular and gated)]
Oh Ralph
Aahhhhh...

[Verse 1: David Brandes]
It's you and me on a Saturday night
Having a drink, just talking 'bout sex and living
And I can feel
You want much more than I'm really giving
'cos you must know
Baby what you're doin' will be my ruin
So baby, just let me go! [echoing]

[Chorus: Lydia Madajewski]
Oh, Ralph, oh, Ralph, don't make love by yourself
It's five to twelve, don't leave me on the shelf
I wanna taste it, so please, don't waste it
You're not a hanky panky wanky man
So, Ralph, oh, Ralph, don't make love by yourself
Don't act like Alf, just let go your pelf
And please don't seal it - I wanna feel it
I wanna shake and take you by myself
Myself and Ralph
[Post-Chorus: Lydia Madajewski]
Ralph, oh Ralph
I wanna taste it, please, don't waste it
So, Ralph, oh, Ralph, don't do it by yourself

[Verse 2: David Brandes]
If I would do what you want to
Baby just listen - I'm in bad condition
You need so much
And I would shoot off my ammunition
So you must know
Sleeping with you would be like
Wham! Bang! Boom! Oh no!

[Chorus: Lydia Madajewski]
Oh, Ralph, oh, Ralph, don't make love by yourself
It's five to twelve, don't leave me on the shelf
I wanna taste it, so please, don't waste it
You're not a hanky-panky-wanky man
So, Ralph, oh, Ralph, don't make love by yourself
Don't act like Alf, just let go your pelf
And please don't seal it - I wanna feel it
I wanna shake and take you by myself
Myself and Ralph

[Post-Chorus: Lydia Madajewski]
Ralph, oh Ralph
I wanna taste it, please, don't waste it
So, Ralph, oh, Ralph, don't do it by yourself
[Bridge: Lydia Madajewski (regular and gated)]
Ralph, oh, Ralph, don't make love by yourself
It's five to twelve, don't leave me on the shelf
I wanna taste it, so please, don't waste it
You're not a hanky-panky-wanky man
Oh, Ralph
Uuhhhhh...
Aahhhhh...

[Chorus: Lydia Madajewski]
Oh, Ralph, oh, Ralph, don't make love by yourself
It's five to twelve, don't leave me on the shelf
I wanna taste it, so please, don't waste it
You're not a hanky-panky-wanky man
So, Ralph, oh, Ralph, don't make love by yourself
Don't act like Alf, just let go your pelf
And please don't seal it - I wanna feel it
I wanna shake and take you by myself
Myself and Ralph

[Post-Chorus: Lydia Madajewski]
Ralph, oh Ralph
I wanna taste it, please, don't waste it
So, Ralph, oh, Ralph, don't do it by yourself

[Outro: Lydia Madajewski]
My Ralph, oh, Ralph
Oh, Ralph
Uuhhhhh...