Klopp: Ladies and gentleman, make some noise for our new signing: DIOGO JOTA! 3! 2! 1! LET'S GO!
The team: D-I-O-G-O! (Klopp: I CAN'T HEAR YOU!)
D-I-O-G-O! (PUT YOU HANDS UP! HE'S FROM PORTO!)
D-I-O-G-O! (Let me see you shake it! He's Diogo!)
D-I-O-G-O! (Star of the show in Bergamo!)

Klopp: He's D! (Deadly!)
He's I! (Incredible!)
He's O! (Orgasmic!)
He's G! (---OAT!)
He's Oh, ohhh, ohhhhhh!

The team: D-I-O-G-O! (Welcome to the stage, James on flute!)
D-I-O-G-O! (Let me hear you scream! He's from Porto!)
D-I-O-G-O! (James: Ladies, let me hear you cream! Klopp: WHAT?! DIOGO!)
D-I-O-G-O! (Klopp: Star of the show in Bergamo!)

Firmino: He's D! Dead lucky!
He's I! Irritating!
He's O! Worse than Origi!
He's G! Goddamn annoying!
He's---
Diogo: OH, OHHH, OHHHH
Firmino: Out injured!

The team: D-I-O-G-O! (40 milion! We ripped off Nuno!)
D-I-O-G-O! (Better than Ronaldo! He's from Porto!)
D-I-O-G-O! (Better than Sancho, he's Diogo!)
D-I-O-G-O! (Star of the show in Bergamo!)
We've got Diogo! (Better than Ronaldo!)
We've got Sadio! (Better than Leo!)
Egyptian King Mo (Better than Sancho!)
Firmino: We've got Firmino! (Diogo screams)
(Music stops, speaking from now on)

Minamino: And Minamino!
Klopp: Oh ja! I totally forgot about Minamino! Hahaha! Sorry Taki...
Klopp (whispering to Milner): James, remind me to transfer list him in January

Klopp: Jota, what a performance!
Diogo: Thanks boss!
Klopp: 3 goals, incredible!
Diogo: Thanks boss!
Klopp: You were unplayable!
Diogo: Thanks boss!
Klopp: I can't drop you after that!
Diogo: No way, boss!
Klopp: But I am. Bobby, you start against Man City on Sunday...
Firmino: Yes!
Diogo: WHAT?!

(Atalanta's locker room)
Atalanta's manager: 5-0! That was embarrassing! Never show your faces in the public again!
Atalanta players: (putting drawn faces on their faces) Yes boss!