[Verse 1]
Alcohol, my permanent accessory
Alcohol, a party-time necessity
Alcohol, alternative to feeling like yourself
Oh alcohol, I still drink to your health

[Chorus]
I love you more
Than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol
(That's small talk)

[Verse 2]
Forget the cafe latte, screw the raspberry iced tea
A Malibu and Coke for you, a G&T for me
Alcohol, your songs resolve like my life never will
When someone else is picking up the bill

[Chorus]
I love you more
Than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol

[Post-Chorus 1]
Oh alcohol, would you please forgive me?
For while I cannot love myself
I'll use something else
[Bridge]
I thought that alcohol
Was just for those with nothing else to do
I thought that drinking
Just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze
But now I know that there's a time
And there's a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between
Self-control and self-abuse

[Interlude]
Go! Go! Go! …

[Chorus]
I love you more
Than I did the week before
I discovered alcohol

[Post-Chorus 2]
And would you please ignore
That you found me on the floor
Trying on your camisole?
Oh alcohol, would you please forgive me?
For while I cannot love myself
I'll use something else
[Outro]
Would you please forgive me?
Would you please forgive me?