[Verse 1]
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house (Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car (A nice reliant automobile)
And if I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love

[Chorus 1]
If I had a million dollars (I'd build a tree-fort in our yard)
If I had a million dollars (You could help, it wouldn't be that hard)
If I had a million dollars (Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere)

[Post-Chorus 1]
You know, we could just go up there and hang out
(Like open the fridge and stuff
And there'd all be foods laid out for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things)
(They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don’t have pre-wrapped bacon)
Well, can you blame 'em?
(Yeah!)

[Verse 2]
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a fur a coat (But not a real fur coat, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet (Yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (Ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)
And if I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love
[Chorus 2]
If I had a million dollars (We wouldn't have to walk to the store)
If I had a million dollars (No, we'd take a Limousine 'cause it costs more)
If I had a million dollars (We wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner)

[Post-Chorus 2]
But we would eat Kraft dinner
(Of course we would, we'd just eat more)
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
(That's right, all the fanciest - Dijon ketchups)

[Verse 3]
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a green dress (But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you some art (A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey (Haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love, oh

[Outro]
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
If I had a million dollars
I'd be rich