[HERACLES]
You gotta dress big
Dress bold
Dress large
You gotta look forceful
And resourceful
And in charge
You wanna dress mean
Not clean --
Aggressive

[DIONYSOS]
Very impressive

[HERACLES]
Gotta dress massive
Not passive

[DIONYSOS]
Very impressive

[HERACLES]
Gotta dress fierce
And raw
And hairy
More than just prominent
Predominantly scary
It's not the real you, I guarantee you
That'll see you
Through this gig
It's the rig
You dig?
Dress big
What do you have in that bag?

[DIONYSOS]
Well fortunately, I packed several different ensembles

[HERACLES]
Like what?

[DIONYSOS]
Well, I have this in gold, blue and magenta...

[HERACLES]
Any weapons?

[DIONYSOS]
Only my rapier wit

[HERACLES]
It isn't enough
To be a god
You gotta convey it
With a deity's facade
A god should look godlike
With a bod like --
Well, like mine
[DIONYSOS]
You're the meaning of divine

[HERACLES]
And so that's who you'll be

DIONYSOS:
What's who I'll be?

[HERACLES]
You'll pretend to be me

[DIONYSOS]
Oh, no, no, no -- that's a bit of a stretch

[HERACLES]
You flaunt a few furs
You drape a few skins
You hang a few pelts

[DIONYSOS]
I have this in sable

[HERACLES]
Takes more than a mink
To make people think
You're somebody else
[DIONYSOS]
Perhaps a hat?

[HERACLES]
You gotta wear everything you've killed
Which oughta help cover up your build
Just let 'em see this, boy, they'll be chilled
Not to say thrilled...

Here, try this lionskin on for size

[DIONYSOS]
Oh, my!

[HERACLES]
The vine leaves have to go

[DIONYSOS]
But it's my signature!

[HERACLES]
Not any more. You're gonna have to be me

[DIONYSOS]
Very well...

[HERACLES]
Better

You gotta look messy
Not saucy
Less dressy
More bossy
Be mussy
Not glossy
Too fussy
Too Fosse

You're fighting the outfit and the outfit's winning. Stomach in! Chest out! Head up! Atta boy!

[DIONYSOS]
Oh! Well, I -- I hate to admit it, but this actually looks better on me than it does on you

[HERACLES]
Some people can't wear lion, you can

[DIONYSOS]
Yes, and I like what it's saying. It says I'm a warrior, but I make my own clothes. Xanthias, how do I look?

[XANTHIAS]
Like the circle of life has stopped

[HERACLES]
You don't walk, you stride
You don't amble, you don't sidle
You remind them you're an idol

[DIONYSOS]
Well, you don't expect me to carry that gigantic club around, do you?

[HERACLES]
What kind of a god are you?

[DIONYSOS]
The kind with lower back problems

[HERACLES]
And don't say, "lower back problems." Say:
"I have a spine of steel!"

You don't talk, you growl
[DIONYSOS growls timidly]
You don't mutter things, you roar 'em
[DIONYSOS growls a bit louder]
As for matters of decorum
Ignore 'em
You gotta act big
And loud
And rough

[DIONYSOS]
And that's enough?

[HERACLES]
As long as you swear a lot
And wear a lot of stuff

[DIONYSOS]
Damn. Fooey

[HERACLES]
You gotta speak firmer --

[DIONYSOS]
Damn! Fooey!

[HERACLES]
Don't murmur --

[DIONYSOS]
Damn!! Fooey!!

[HERACLES]
Don't mumble --
[Growling in a low bass]
Rumble --

[DIONYSOS roars like a lion]

By George, he's got it!

[HERACLES/XANTHIAS]
I think you've got it!

[DIONYSOS]
[Menacingly, to HERACLES]
You talkin' to me?
You talkin' to me?!

[HERACLES]
That's it, now glower --

[DIONYSOS]
Butt out!

[HERACLES]
-- To show your power

[DIONYSOS]
So's your old man!

[HERACLES]
Watch how they cower
As your power
Starts to flower

[DIONYSOS]
Stick it in your ear!

[HERACLES]
What you'll discover
Is that people think the cover
Is the book
It's all in the look
So look like the oak
Instead of the twig

[DIONYSOS]
Blow it out your ass!

[HERACLES]
Walk tall!
Stand proud!
Look fierce!
Talk loud!
Dress big!