Nathan Lane
When You’re an Addams
GOMEZ (spoken):
Ah, the intoxicating smell of the graveyard.
Once a year when the last leaf of autumn falls,
we gather to honor the great cycle of life and death.
Come, every member of our clan - living,
dead, and, undecided - and let us celebrate what it is to be an Addams.
(sung)
When you're an Addams
You need to have a little moonlight
When you're an Addams
You need to feel a little chill
You have to see the world in shades of grey
You have to put some poison in your day
MORTICIA (spoken):
That's the way
BOTH:
When you're an Addams
GOMEZ:
You need to have a sense of humor
MORTICIA:
Ha
BOTH:
When you're an Addams
MORTICIA:
You need to have a taste for death
BOTH:
Who cares about the world outside
And what it wants from you
When you're an Addams
You do what Addams always do!
ADDAMS FAMILY:
When you're an Addams
GOMEZ:
You gotta have a lotta passion
ADDAMS FAMILY:
When you're an Addams
MORTICIA:
You need to really love your wife
GOMEZ (spoken):
Several times a day
ADDAMS FAMILY:
You're happy when your toes are in the mud
FESTER/GRANDMA:
You smile a bit the moment you smell blood
ADDAMS FAMILY:
AA-OOOH!!!
When you're an Addams
WEDNESDAY:
You need to grab a bow and arrow
ADDAMS FAMILY:
When you're an Addams
PUGSLEY:
You need a moment to explode
GRANDMA:
Just pour a potion
FESTER:
Flip the switch
FESTER/GRANDMA/WEDNESDAY/PUGSLEY:
And wait 'till things get hot
ADDAMS FAMILY:
When you're an Addams
You have to really stir the pot
FESTER:
So keep your sunshine
And keep your glee
GOMEZ:
Country music in Tennessee
WEDNESDAY:
Keep your laughter
GRANDMA:
And MTV
ADDAMS FAMILY:
And all will be all right
Give us shadows and give us gloom
Broken glass in a motel room
Something fun we can all exhume
And give it all tonight!
GOMEZ (spoken):
And on this special night, beneath our Family Tree, we summon our beloved Ancestors.
ANCESTORS:
Once torn asunder
Down six feet under
We get to gather here
MALE ANCESTOR ONE:
Dead for forever
MALE ANCESTOR TWO:
Bled from whatever
BOTH:
Called now to reappear
MALE ANCESTOR THREE/FEMALE ANCESTOR ONE:
Every cadaver
Start the palaver
Once in an Addams year
ANCESTORS:
Hold your decaying
Hear what we're saying
Time now to give a cheer
GOMEZ (spoken):
Line Dance!
Bunny Hop!
Do the Twist!
Rigor Mortis!
ALL:
When you're an AddamsMALE ANCESTORS:
That's right!
When you're an Addams
Late night! Out with the Addams!
With one biteADDAMS FAMILY/FEMALE ANCESTORS:
You have a very special duty
When you're an AddamsALL:
You're obligated to the clan
It's family first and family last
And family by and by
When you're an Addams
The standard answers don't apply
When you're an Addams
You do what Addams do or-
LURCH:
Ughhh
ALL:
Die!