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  5. Meet the Heavy (Script)
Valve
Meet the Heavy (Script)

Heavy: I am Heavy Weapons Guy... and this, is my weapon. She weighs one hundred fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute. It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon...for twelve seconds.

[Heavy laughs]

Oh my God, who touched Sasha? Alright... Who touched my gun?

Some people think they can outsmart me. Maybe... [Heavy sniffs] maybe. I have yet to meet one that can outsmart bullet

[Heavy guns down the BLU team with his minigun while the Team Fortress 2 theme plays]

Heavy: Waaaaahhhhh! Uwaaaaaaah! Ahahahahaha! Cry some more!"

Heavy: Heheh, cry some morĐ”.