[Skit: Yoda & Luke Skywalker]
Hey
Where's the fire, son?
What the—
Oh no
Where you off to?
Just this party in the garden
Nice!
How 'bout I join you?
How about you don't?
Hmm?
Son?
Come back
Hey!
B— U— I told you to stop!
*hums*

[Intro: Yoda]
Hmm
Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm
Now that's a fire!
Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm
Listen, son

[Verse 1: Yoda]
Knock you in your head with my stick
With my stick
You gon' have a mark from my stick
From my stick
[Chorus: Yoda & Luke Skywalker]
My stick, my stick
My stick is better than bacon
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-hmmm
You can't touch my stick
I don't wanna!
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-phfrr
Yeah, you want my stick

[Verse 2: Yoda]
Thunk your coconut with my stick
Look at my stick (Mm-hmm)
You gon' feel the wrath of my stick
Fear my stick!

[Chorus: Yoda & Luke Skywalker]
My stick, my stick
My stick is better than bacon
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-hmmm
You can't touch my stick
But it's just a stick!
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-hmmm
It's my perfect stick

[Post-Chorus: Yoda]
My stick is my friend born from a log
Everyone can see it's better than bacon
[Verse 3: Yoda]
Why'd you get so crotchety and mean?
Look at my stick
Why'd you drink that creature's milk? It's green!
Got me sick!

[Chorus: Yoda & Luke Skywalker]
My stick (My stick), my stick (My stick)
My stick is better than bacon
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-hmmm
You can't use my stick
But it's just a stick!
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-hmmm
Don't you like my stick?
No, it's just a stick!
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-bphfmm
It's my perfect stick

[Verse 4: Yoda]
My stick and me take walks every day
Past the hooligans down by the ocean
When they laugh at my stick, then they learn
How my stick is much denser than bacon

[Bridge 1: Yoda]
Bought a little piggy and I let the little piggy run amok (So cute)
But when I would sleep, little piggy kept wakin' me up (Sold him)
People often fight about which birds are the best birds (Do they?)
But everybody can agree that seagulls are the worst
[Breakdown: Yoda]
I kiss my stick, it's my stick
You can't pick up my stick
Keep your mitts off my stick
I disappear for years then reappear
Right here to cheer about my cool stick

[Verse 5: Yoda & Luke Skywalker]
When I was a little bitty kid
Little bitty kid
I had not yet found my mighty stick
Then I did! Mm-hmmm
I could break your stick usin' just my brain
My stick?!
I could make you wish you couldn't feel pain
Not my stick! Hmm-mm

[Chorus: Yoda & Luke Skywalker]
My stick (My stick), my stick (My stick)
My stick is better than bacon!
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-hmmm
You can't touch my stick
I don't want your stick!
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-vmmp
Yeah, you want my stick
I mean, it's just a stick!
Mmm-ah-ha-ha-bphfmm
It's my big boy stick

[Bridge 2: Yoda]
Bought a bag of venom and I wish I really, really, really didn't (It turns out)
Nobody has a good reason to own a bag of venom (It's poison)
Poke on my bruise sometimes 'cause I like how it hurts (It hurts good)
Everybody can agree that seagulls are the worst (Worst, worst, worst, worst)

[Outro: Yoda]
I kiss my stick, it's my stick
You can't pick up my stick
Keep your mitts off my stick
Everyone can see it's better than bacon
I kiss my stick, it's my stick
My stick is my friend born from a log
You can't pick up my stick
Keep your mitts off my stick
Everyone can see it's better than bacon