Let me set the tone
Imagine if you will, a group of kids just left alone

Mom's in the bathroom trying not to throw up
Daddy's on the phone but we've never seen him close up
Some guy's passed out sleeping on the sofa
When you need a ride home no one ever shows up

Wake up your brother, get your mother to bed
Spread some peanut butter on some Wonderbread
And when it gets too crazy duck and cover your head
Once you get used to it, it isn't so bad!
You may get a chuckle or a cynical laugh
It's the adventures of party mom and the invisible dad

She borrows your clothes and goes out with your friends
What's the matter honey are you pouting again?
The old man left for a beer and a pack of smokes
We thought it was weird when he packed all his clothes
What a classic show! Mom had a jack and coke and burnt the casserole

The suspense and the horror, it may make you gasp
You wonder for days, will he ever come back?
The critics call it pitiful, miserable, sad
It's the adventures of party mom and the invisible dad
When they first got married, they weren't old enough
To settle down, or sober up
You'd think by now, they'd grow up enough

When they first had children, you couldn't find a better pair
A father who was never there, while mother passed out everywhere

Learn to cook your own meals, see how being alone feels
Watch as we reach deeper states of denial, dishes all dirty, plates in a pile

Mom's in the bathroom, laying on the tile
Haven't seen daddy's face in a while

The suspense and the horror, it may make you gasp
You wonder for days, will he ever come back?
The critics call it pitiful, miserable, sad
It's the adventures of party mom and the invisible dad

When they first got married, they weren't old enough
To settle down, or sober up
You'd think by now, they'd grow up enough

When they first had children, you couldn't find a better pair
A father who was unprepared, while mom left bottles everywhere

When daddy comes around he can't keep our names straight
Thinks we're in the same grade we've been since age 8
Crying in your underoos, it's not because of you, it's about your mother too
Weighed down by hundreds of issues and episodes
You could sift through the wreckage for little collectables
The suspense and the horror, it may make you gasp
You wonder for days, will he ever come back?
The critics call it pitiful, miserable, sad
It's the adventures of party mom and the invisible dad