When I accepted this job
I was resigned to my fate
When I got there early
She'd arrive late
You can say she's gone forever
Or just sit tight and wait
She said I was unprincipled
That I was not the first

Like the phoenix coming back
From the ashes, uh-huh
I know what's good
But I know what trash is
In the headlights
In the highlights of her hair
Hit the headlines
But she's not there

Many happy returns
Many happy returns
These are the lessons I could have learned
Return, many happy returns
And these are the letters I should have burned

Okay, I'm sad, not blue
Okay, remember
All that matters to me now
Is the message I sent her
Like the world spinning around
On its axis, uh-huh
I know democracy
But I know what's fascist
When she's gone, all I've got to learn
Is the law of diminishing return
When she's here, one thing I've found
Things get better second time around

Many happy returns
Many happy returns
These are the lessons I could have learned
Return, many happy returns
And these are the letters I should have burned

Okay I'm sad, not blue
Okay, remember
All that matters to me now
Is the message I sent her

Now she's gone, she's gone away
Now she's gone, forget her
Coming back another day
If you'd only let her

Now she's gone, she's gone away
But she's gone, forget her
Coming back no other day
So why resurrect her
Many happy returns
Many happy returns
These are the lessons I should have learned
Return, many happy returns
And these are the letters I should have burned