Hold a candle to a naked flame
Ask the atheist his Christian name
Parachuting from a burning plane
Finding someone else you can blame

If I ever thought you'd be lonely
If I ever thought you'd be there
If I ever fought the alimony
My painted pony, you'd be there

Eskimo heart, Bedouin throat
A butcher trussed up in a camel hair coat
A crowning in the castle, a drowning in the moat
Ocean dried, desert afloat

If I ever thought you'd be lonely
If I ever thought you'd be there
If I ever fought the alimony
My painted pony, you'd be there

If I ever thought you'd be lonely
If I ever thought you'd be there
If I ever fought the alimony
My one and only, you'd be there

One for the lady, one for the gent
Signatures in wet cement
And if you ever ask what I meant
Then I'd never know, then I'd never know