[Verse 1]
Life isn't quite what I thought I’d be
When I was a kid on VoIP
I thought when I get older, I'd marry her
I told her
Now I'm 26 and I work in an office
9 ’til 5's not the best, I'll be honest
If I could change a single thing
I'd make it me and not him

[Chorus]
But he's in your bed
And I'm in your Twitch chat
I've got the key
And he's just a doormat
And even though he’s got social skills
That doesn’t mean I can't pay the bills
Anyway, make the most of him
’Cause she moves on pretty bloody quick
Oh-oh, your new boyfriend's an arsehole (Woo)

[Verse 2]
And yeah, I've met Jared
(Of course I've met Jared)
The one who took you away from me
You hit it off instantly
I know, ’cause you won't stop telling me
I've seen his jawline, shoulders, and muscles
Push against his fashion sense
I've thought about what he looks like n***
I'm not gay, though

[Bridge]
‘Cause she's living the dream (Living the dream, living the dream)
Oh, she's living the dream
From back when we were 17
She's living the dream (Living the dream, living the dream)
Oh she's living the dream
From back when we were seventeen

[Verse 3]
How on Earth can I be saved?
When I'm one click away from insane
I just think that I deserve
A little bit of what I earned
I'm not gonna make another scene
The one I made when I was 23
Means I'm not allowed in Disney World

[Chorus]
But he's in your bed
And I'm in your Twitch chat
I've got the key
And he's just a doormat
'Cause even though he's got social skills
That doesn't mean I can't pay the bills
Anyway, make the most of him
'Cause she moves on pretty bloody quick
Oh-oh, your new boyfriend's an arsehole

[Outro]
I think about you everyday (Everyday)
So how on Earth can I be saved? (Can I be saved)
I think about him a lot as well (I think about him)
Maybe if he wasn't fine as hell (He's really fine as hell)
'Cause you're beauty
And you're grace (And you're grace)
Your telephone calls are my favorite place
And I want you to notice me
With no restraining order please (Jason Derulo)
I want you to care
I want to smell your hair

Woo!