[Spoken Intro: TommyInnit, Tess, Technoblade, and Wilbur Soot]
Look, we need to put on a little show for our guest
Yeah, yeah, yeah
This seems like it'd waste a lot of time and not be conducive towards speedrunning
Ready, Techno?
Techno, Techno, c'mon, c'mon
Give us a "Buh buh buh"
Bah, bah
Yeah
Yeah, bitch!
Yeah
(You're the bitch, Wilbur)
I'm ready…
Bah
Buh, buh, buh, buh
Um, uhm, uh, uhm

[Verse 1: TommyInnit]
His name is Technoblade, and he wears a red gown
He has crown on his head and he doesn't do drugs
Her name is Tess, and she uses TikTok
That is funny to me

[Chorus: TommyInnit]
We are playing Minecraft!
And I am cool, and Vikkstar...
Hello Tеchnoblade
We are playing Minеcraft!
We are like Dream, but Dream cannot sing!
[Verse 2: TommyInnit]
Technoblade he has brown shoes, I think that is interesting
I don't really know what to think
The color of his shoes don't matter that much to me, yeah
XXX yeah, uh, red, uh, colors, yeah, squares, squares, squares, squares
Clouds, I see clouds!

[Verse 3: TommyInnit]
His name is Wilbur Soot and he's a dirty crime boy
He just walks around being strange
Think he might be on a list
I don't know, what his deal is
He probably dates Nihachu
I should not have said that line
Anyways, moving on!
I met him in real life
It was a vlog and Tubbo was there

[Spoken Interlude: TommyInnit, Tess & Technoblade]
Uh, yeah, Bessie
Are you ready to take it away?
'Cause I cannot do this for much longer, yeah
I'll pass it to Technoblade
Ayy, Techno, you ready to do some rapping, Technoblade?
Absolutely not, that's not happening
Okay, well, Wilbur?
Are you ready to...
Wilbur, Wilbur, uh
It's his verse, you ready?
[Verse 4: TommyInnit]
Buh, buh, buh, buh
Boom
Wilbur is not rapping
So I am going to do a filler rap!
It is very awkward and rather uncomfortable
There is a birch tree
Oh

[Spoken Outro: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade]
You're speedrunning, please, speedrun
Turn on the Dream music again!