[Verse 1]
The books you think I wrote are way too thick
Who needs a thousand metaphors to realize you shouldn't be a dick?
And I don't watch you when you sleep
Surprisingly I don't use my omnipotence to be a fucking creep

[Chorus]
You're not going to heaven
Why the fuck would you think I'd ever kick it with you?
None of you are going to heaven
There's a trillion aliens cooler than you

[Post-Chorus 1]
You shouldn't abstain from rape just 'cause you think that I want you to
You shouldn't rape 'cause rape is a fucked up thing to do
(Didn't think I had to write that one down for you guys.)

[Verse 2]
I don't think masturbation is obscene
It's absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing I've evеr seen
You make my job a living hell
I sent gays to fix ovеrpopulation
And didn't that go well

[Chorus]
You're not going to heaven
[Spoken]
Oh why-fuck

[Chorus Cont.]
None of you are going to heaven
You're not my children
You're a bad game of Sims

[Post-Chorus 2]
You shouldn't abstain from pork just 'cause you think that I want you to
You can eat pork cause why the fuck would I give a shit?
(I created the universe, think I'd draw the line at the fuckin' deli aisle?)

[Verse 3]
You argue and you bicker and you fight
Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night
Over what they think is true
But no one entertains the possibility that God doesn't believe in you
You pray so badly for heaven
Knowing that one day may be the day that you die
But maybe life on earth could be heaven
Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

[Outro]
I'm not gonna give you love 'cause I know that I want you to
If you want love then the love has gotta come from you