[Intro: Wilbur Soot & Nihachu]
It's all about- It's about all the sad stuff in the world and it's called "Sad"
I think I know it
You know it?
Yeah, I know the lyrics
You can't read the lyrics! Don't read! It's spoiling the joke
Sorry!
I met a homeless man named Rich
Isn't that terrible?
(It's gonna be weird if you don't- don't-
I realised halfway through I was- I was starting playing it and I was like "Oh this is suddenly a lot of pressure for you, you're just suddenly sat there like... Audience for this")

[Verse 1: Wilbur Soot]
Isn't that terrible?
I saw a flyer for a lost dog and the dog didn't have any legs
I saw a diabetic kid trick or treating
I saw a giraffe who had a short neck
That was sad, or a deer

[Chorus: Wilbur Soot]
I saw an old man get hit by a train
He didn't see it in the pouring rain
He didn't hear me shout "Look out for the train"
'Cause I didn't say anything

[Post-Chorus: Wilbur Soot]
I just thought to myself, "Oh this is gonna be sad"
And it was. I'm a genius
[Verse 2: Wilbur Soot & Nihachu]
I saw a man with only one eye... in a 3D movie
I saw a little boy drop his ice cream cone directly on his mother's corpse
I saw a kitten stuck in a tree then the kitten jumped off and he hung himself
I saw a boy who had red hair (*Laughing* Oh no!)

[Chorus: Wilbur Soot]
I was just looking for something to buy
But they only sold paintings of the same sad guy
No, wait! This store sells mirrors!
See what I did there?
Let's rock!
No...

[Interlude: Wilbur Soot]
The world's so sad, bros
Pain, genocide, war, sexism, racism
But I gotta remember there's good things about it too
Like the fact that none of that's happening to me, score!
Still though, how do y'all do it?
I've been telling you guys terribly sad things this whole song and you haven't been sad at all
No, you’ve been laughing
Maybe that’s the key to everything
Maybe that's the key to all the sadness in the world
Well, not for people who are actually sad, but for the people like us who’ve gotta fucking deal with ‘em all the time
Being a comedian isn’t being an insensitive prick capitalizing on the most animalistic impulses of the public, it’s being a hero!
The world's not sad. The world’s funny! I'm a sociopath!
[Verse 3: Wilbur Soot]
I saw an old man slip and fall, hey, what a fucking idiot
I saw a woman at her daughter’s funeral
Hahaha! Classic comedy!
Everything that once was sad is somehow funny now
TOS, TOS
That shit’s funny 24/7

[Chorus: Wilbur Soot]
'Cause tragedy will be exclusively joked about
Because my empathy (Are you reading- Are you reading what it was?) (Yeah)
Goodbye sadness
Hello jokes

[Outro: Wilbur Soot & Nihachu]
I think- I think they're trying to tell us that the mic is exploding
I tried to make it quieter- aha- but good job! (BBBBBBBB) (BBBBBBBB)
Explodey mic but still