The snotgreen sea
The scrotumtightening sea
Cast thine bread upon the water
The salty water of the briny deep

Eternal backstroke in the vast deep
Of the ocean of fire and brimstone
Looking at a haunted void
I'm all at sea, flat on thine back
As buoyant as the Titanic fifty years on
So come on, Neptune, drag me down
Tadpole in the dead dead sea
Firewater! Firewater!

That drip-drip-drip is making me sick
That drip-drip-drip is making me sink

I’m condemned to eternal water torture
This time the decider has shown no quarter
I just had a backyard coathanger job
From the sinner-sorter, soul-aborter
Fire and water, firewater, water torture, water torture
(Fire and water, firewater, water torture, water torture)

I could walk on water till I landed in strife
Now I'm treading water, now I swim for my life
My wetsuit's got a hole in its pocket
Stuck my wet toe in a live hot socket
(Wet toe in a live hot socket)
(Wet toe in a live hot socket)
Water everywhere can’t see the horizon
Can't even be washed up or beached
Not even a tern to keep my eyes on
I shouldn't've practiced what Beelzebub preached
I'm condemned to eternal water torture
This time the decider has shown no quarter
I just had a backyard coathanger job
From the sinner-sorter, soul-aborter
Fire and water, firewater, water torture, water torture
(Fire and water, firewater, water torture, water torture)

Must've bought my life from a used car salesman
Only one previous owner
Whoo!
I must've bought my life from a used car salesman
One previous owner, a little old lady
Wish she'd driven it to church on Sunday
Four flat tires, break an axle one day

That drip-drip-drip is making me sick
That drip-drip-drip is making me sink
That drip-drip-drip is making me drink
That sip-sip-sip is making me sick

I’m condemned to eternal water torture
This time the decider has shown no quarter
I just had a backyard coathanger job
From the sinner-sorter, soul-aborter
(Fire and water, firewater, water torture, water torture)
I’m condemned to eternal water torture
This time the decider has shown no quarter
I just had a backyard coathanger job
From the sinner-sorter, soul-aborter
(Fire and water, firewater, water torture, water torture)
(Fire and water, firewater, water torture, water torture)
(Water torture, water torture, water torture, water torture)
Water torture! Fire and water!
Eternal water torture! Wow!