[Intro: Violent J]
"And I say, the more candy, the merrier, so fuck Mom and Dad. And now, boys and girls, I hope you're ready for a wondrous adventure into a world full of lots and lots of candy"

[Verse 1: Violent J]
Throw  your hands up, clap twice, then stomp
It's  me and Grandma Nut in the molasses swamp
I'm seein' waterfalls pourin' up chocolate s'mores
I left that bitch floatin' and hit the peppermint forest
Lollipop  trees all in the gumdrop mountains
There  I saw Jolly Molly sittin' on a nut pop
She told me she was lookin' for the Kool-Aid man
'Cause  he stuck his Tootsie Roll in her fillin' hole and ran
I didn't give a damn, I bit her head off vicious
That rich nougat cookie dough ho is delicious
Now the gingerbread people pimp the popsicle pops
And  sell sugarcane to donuts and lemon drops
Here it rains Tic Tacs and snows ice cream scoops
And fools get shot up with peanuts and fuckin' dunked into goop
So bring your sweet tooth, bitch, I'ma coat it in pain
And all you sugar-free flakes ain't the same, I'm talkin' 'bout

[Chorus: Violent J]
Candy Land, Candy Land
Let's make a run for Candy Land
Candy Land, Candy Land
Maybe we can hook up with the Candy Man
Candy Land, Candy Land
Let's make a run for Candy Land
Candy Land, Candy Land
Maybe we can hook up with the Candy Man
[Verse 2: Esham]
Chocolate chip sugar dipped with the wax lips
Red Faygo or some barbecue chips
I need some powdered sugar or a sweet and sour booger
Laffy Taffy, I'm your pappy, you my sugar dooga
Boston baked beans lemon head jolly rancher
Goin' all gummy, down your throat like a tarantula
Call me Spider-Man, my web's all in your hair
I'm in my gingerbread house gettin' gingerbread
I'm getting paper, Now and Later pineapple grape
Cherry watermelon strawberry all day
Mango and cream seem like a dream
Yellow gumdrops fell down on me
The cotton candy blue Kool-Aid sky
The sun looked like a big lemon head sayin' "hi"
Was I high? I was high, no lie
I'll catch you next time in Candy Land again, bye bye

[Chorus: Violent J]
Candy Land, Candy Land
Let's make a run for Candy Land
Candy Land, Candy Land
Maybe we can hook up with the Candy Man
Candy Land, Candy Land
Let's make a run for Candy Land
Candy Land, Candy Land
Maybe we can hook up with the Candy Man
[Bridge: Violent J & Esham]
And it's, ooh, delicious
Bitch, this Candy Land, and it ain't nutritious
And it's, ooh, delicious
Bitch, this Candy Land, and it ain't nutritious

[Verse 3: Violent J & Esham]
Well it's me and Mr. Mint on his spearmint boat
With some caramel bunnies in a root beer float
And if you think i'm ever going back, you must have and an empty center
You meatloafs, do not enter, this is Candy Land
Blueberry jawbreaker, candy land law breaker
Like taking candy from a baby, I'm the candy taker
Marshmallow lemon drop jelly beans
And a pair of salty nuts for all you sugar fiends

[Bridge: Violent J & Esham]
And it's, ooh, delicious
Bitch, this Candy Land, and it ain't nutritious
And it's, ooh, delicious
Bitch, this Candy Land, and it ain't nutritious

[Chorus: Violent J]
Candy Land, Candy Land
Let's make a run for Candy Land
Candy Land, Candy Land
Maybe we can hook up with the Candy Man
Candy Land, Candy Land
Let's make a run for Candy Land
Candy Land, Candy Land
Maybe we can hook up with the Candy Man
[Outro: Violent J]
"Yummy and delicious, a wide variety of sugar coated-artificial colorings, mmm. Tell mom and dad you want some candy, a great way to rot your mouth out."