Hi, Billy Mays here
-beep-
Hi, Taylor Swift here for Sex Tape (Taylor Swift photo shows up)
Message: This video is no longer available due to copyright claim by Taylor Swift. Sorry about that /WILDEST DREAMS distorted/
Flelf
Flex Tape is an ordinary tape. Its triple-thick adhesive virtually tapes itself to the tape, instantly taping the tape
It even works underwater! Idiot
/autotune/
DAMNIT!
Flex Tape is Soup!
SuS x4
Now you can become the tape
Now you can pee in pools and spas!
Phil Swift vs Billy Mays
Phil: Superstrong!
Bill: Superstrong!
Phil: Stopping the toughest leaks!
Bill: Seals leaks instantly!
Phil: Bond!
Bill: For an everlasting bond!
Phil: Seal and repair!
Bill: Seamless repair!
Phil: Imagine anything you can do!
Bill: There's nothing you can't do...
Phil: With the power of Flex Tape
Bill: FIRE A LAZER, FIRE A LAZER!
With Flex Tape, you can instantly eat a waterproof pear
/Why is it blue?/ /Why not?/
You can stick leaky pipes up my super tight butthole
You can instantly patch large holes, so the inside is completely dry!
I sawed this boat in half
/XBOX Achievement sound/
To show you the power of the dual saw....
Ow, my crotch
I sawed this b0n3r in half!
/I'm on a boat/
You can watch an hour of Netflix inside the boat!
It creates a superstrong watertight seal! /seal sounds/
The powerful adhesive holds the boat together. OH, YEAH, DOGGY!
Bill: what the actual fuck?
/Super-strong amount/
Flex Tape is stupid!
Bill: Flipping and flopping!
I hold the boat together with underwear and repaired with Half and Half (next to regular milk and cream)!
Here comes Superman!
Camper loop
Phil Swift's dick can be super long, and once it's long, it's ON!
Imagine anthing you can do with a big dick in your poophole!
/James Bond theme/
Now you can do the dishes!
/leaves you alone/
Fap Tape
Why are you still here?