[Intro: Jenny Jackknife, Klayton]
I've got a gift for you
I’ve got a gift for you
(Ahahahahaha)

[Verse 1: Klayton]
Hello again
I still try to remember how this all began
You can't undo
It's okay though because I’ve got a gift for you (hahahahaha)

[Chorus: Klayton, Jenny Jackknife, both]
(For you, for-for you-you, gift for you)
(For you, for you, for you)
Poison in the well
I've got a gift for you
A special place in Hell
I've got a gift for you
The perfect place to dwell
I've got a gift for you
And though they're not as nice as the ones you gave to me
I hope that they will do

[Outro: Klayton]
Hahahahaha
[Verse 2: Klayton]
Hello again
I still can't remember how this all began
There's one thing to do
So I'm here now and I’ve got a gift for you

[Final Chorus: Klayton, Klayton & Jenny Jackknife]
There’s poison in the well
I've got a gift for you
A special place in Hell
I’ve got a gift for you
The perfect place to dwell
I've got a gift for you
And though they're not as nice as the ones you gave to me
I hope that they will do
Sickness for the skin
I've got a gift for you
A cancer for within
I’ve got a gift for you
An ending to begin
I've got a gift for you
(Heh!)

[Outro: Klayton, Jenny Jackknife]
Hahahahaha
(..., I've got a gift for you, I've got a gift for you, ...)