London beaches fricking suck
They have no grace or style
If you want a proper beach
Just travel for awhile

Brighton, Blackpool, Doncaster
Never even been in 'em
I can tell you this for sure
Litters probably on the floor

The sea is cold and i am wet
From all this rain
The weathers indecisive like
Leave or remain (Brexit)

Seagulls are annoying
I really really hate them
What more can I say
I just really hate seagulls

Fish and chips my bum
They all taste wet and soggy
Who the hell even eats them?
I’m so lonely

London beaches fricking suck
They have no grace and style
If you want a proper beach
Just travel Europe, it'll be worthwhile