[Voice of Flight Attendant:]
Ladies and Gentleman on behalf of our captain, Chinx Drugz, and his copilot Harry Fraud, welcome aboard RMG Coke Boy Airlines Flight 2011 – nonstop service from far rock America all the way to the money. Our flight time will approximately be a half hour. We will be flying at an altitude of 34,000 feet, at the speed of sound. We remind you that this is a smoking flight. Smoking is encouraged on the entire aircraft, including the lavatories. Tampering with, disabling, or destroying the smoke detectors is condoned by the flight crew. Ladies and gentleman, the captain has turned off the “fasten seatbelt” sign. If you haven’t already done so, please stow your carry on luggage underneath the seat in front of you, or in an overhead bin. Please take you seat and fasten your seatbelt, thank you