[Verse 1]
Oh, happy day, that unmistakable brown plumage
As accented by a snow white head and tail, I've seen the holy spirit
When I was young, their population had collapsed to where it felt
We’d only know the majesty through photo, prose, and lyric
Through drastic conservation efforts and the diligence of fish
And wildlife scientists, we've actualized impressive data
So much so that 2016 would discover two such creatures
Nesting in the heart of downtown Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
200 years of absence broken by a brazen pair
Is not to shake a stick at when you actually A-B the numbers
And so it was the PA game commission would install a webcam
With a live feed that would showcase the avian lovers
You could be sitting in your office feelin' testy
Spilling coffee on a spreadsheet
Thinking "Jesus Christ, my life is dismal"
Two seconds later, you could stare into a portal
That reminds you there is more
Than what your awful nine-to-five permits you

[Chorus]
Like a giant fuckin’ eagle
Or I don't know
Maybe Mona Lisa cheesin' from the easel
Or I don't know
Maybe sunbeams leakin' through a keyhole
Or I don't know
Eh, I don't know
[Verse 2]
Oh, Lordy Lou, those unmistakable eight talons
That could surgically remove a spawning salmon from the raging rapids
People think nature is a rainbow or a newborn
Or an ocean or a puppy which denies the gory steak and mashers
You load the sight up and expect to see the glory of a wingspan
Over eagly beaks, emerging from an egg a hero
We overlook the fact that while sometimes a cat'll eat a bird
Sometimes a bird’ll eat a cat like it’s a fuckin' churro
On April 26th, in front a grip of viewers tuning in
To catch a glimpse of what would usually live in the shadows
There was no way to have predicted honing in
On the internet’s favorite creature as reduced to nutritional value
I wonder if some dude was sad because his cat had run away
And thought, "Maybe I'll load these eagles up to feel connected"
Then got to watch his little Fluffy torn to pieces by the very nature
He had sought to ease him through his deep depression

[Chorus]
By a giant fuckin' eagle
Or I don't know
Maybe Mona Lisa cheesin’ from the easel
Or I don't know
Maybe sunbeams leakin' through a keyhole
Or I don't know
Eh, I don't know