EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
ELVIS PRESLEY! VS! MICHAEL JACKSON!
BEGIN!

[Verse 1: Michael Jackson]
Oooh, Elvis Presley as I live and breathe
You stole rock and roll, gave us rockabilly cheese
You dance like an epileptic: nothing but left feet, I've seen it
Every record you set, man, I beat it
Here’s a tip: don’t swallow a bucket of drugs
So you won’t die on the toilet dropping hunks of Burning Love
I’m Bad, I’m a Smooth Criminal, better face up
Call me Ed Sullivan, shoot you from the waist up
Watch me moonwalk and I step on your blue suede
Even in death, I go platinum on Blu-Ray
Spitting out hits since I was six years old
I’m the King of Pop, you’re the King of Jelly Rolls

[Verse 2: Elvis Presley]
Well, I died on the shitter but I don’t give a crap
You ain’t got half the badass battle raps that I have
I got one for your monkey, two for your clothes
Three for your family and four for your nose
You better surrender talkin’ about them ABC’s
Cause all you wanna do is teach kids the birds and the bees
This is the big time, Jacko, no dress rehearsal
I’ll light you up like your hair in a Pepsi commercial
I can tell you’re angry, but I can’t comprehend it
I stole from black culture, why are YOU offended?
Your daddy beat gold records out of you like alchemy
Don’t make me spank you and dangle your ass over a balcony!
[Verse 3: Michael Jackson]
Ohhh, It’s about time for a Thriller
Didn’t lose any chocolate, I just added vanilla
I’m going Off the Wall, I won’t stop ’til I get enough
Whooping your big fat ass with my shiny glove
How you gonna talk about the birds and bees
When you met your own wife when she was only 14?
Then you made one daughter, she (Ah) came to me
I took her to my Neverland Ranch to hee-hee!
You shoulda stayed in the army, dude (Shamone!)
Even Tito looks better than you
I’m singing "Aaaahhhhhh!", you’re singing "Don’t Be Cruel"
There’s only one crown, baby, let the one King rule

[Verse 4: Elvis Presley]
You’re a creeper dude, you like to grab your own wanger
I only let you marry my daughter cause I knew you’d never bang her
You think you’re tough? Man, you look like Tootie
I was badder than you in my Blue Hawaii movie
You lost your damn mind, that’s why they cast you in The Wiz
You’re like a sad white woman who never got to be a kid
I’m out before you try to hold me and free your willy
Later weirdo; Elvis is leaving the building!

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC (HEE-HEE) RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!