[Presley]
Hmmm... we go again, man. Just like my horses left.
Mm-hmm... Oh, you good. Come on. Hmmm.
I said he just tapers off to nothing.
Before the evening is over, I would have made a complete, total fool of myself. I hope you get a kick out of watching it.
Now, wow. Wow. Wow, wow.
Uh, one of the first records that I made - I mean, I recorded - back in 1927, I think it was...
More like this - mmm...
Well... *clears throat*
Yeah...
Oh, well-well-well-well-well-well...
Mmm-hm-m-m...
Oh-oh-oh, ah...
[???] me do next, man, you got any idea?
[Piano solo]
I don't wanna do that.
Crazy time, man.
Tеll you what, ladies and gentlemеn, um... yeah!
Now, we're going to just... would love to sing - all of us are able to sing... and music, and.. you know, if it makes you happy...
Ah, they don't like us down too long, and he's...
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!
Uh, they don't like us down more than like, 55 minutes an hour. We don't care what they like.
Sure [???]
I'd like to sing a little-little Love Me Tender for you.
*high-pitched scatting* It's not bad.
Rabid...
I shouldn't have done that. I really shouldn't have done that. You know that?
This is a very heavy song, and I have to stand out just to sing it because my voice was much higher. If I stand straight up, I'll strip my gears.
Mmmmm..... [???] youdon'tknowwhatI'mgonnadohere
You just need you, too
[???]
You're nothin' but an aardvark
Push off
Warthog
Cricket... frog... bushbaby... [???], forget it.
Well...
Yes?
Well... I said to him, well-well-well-well-well-well...
WHAT.
Well-well-well-well-well... I love you when you [???]
I mean, I hadn't even got started yet, but...
*feedback* What was that?
Okay.
Honey, wait a minute, I can't do all of that stuff at once, you know.
Love you tender, give you a scarf, and everything, ah?
What is it, Honey? Pork it? Okay. You want the blue one? You got it, Honey, just ask me.
But not free. Come here, [???]
Hey-hey! [???]
Okay. No, I'll make the round, just give me a little time. Sure. Thank you. It's your birthday? Happy birthday.
[Woman]
Give me a scarf!

[Presley]
Okay, just stay with me, I'll be right back, okay?
She wants a scarf for her birthday.
40 minute.
Happy birthday. Where's Granny? Okay, Granny, hang in there.
Okay. Thank you. Thank you, you're welcome. I get you, too, man.

[Woman]
Oh my God!

[Presley]
And don't go completely crazy on me, I-I'll get around to you, you know.
Hello, Sweetie. That's your mother? No, but I'll take her, you see. What, Honey? You drove 10,000 miles? Where'd you come from? If you drove 10,000 miles... Oh, oh, I see, England, right? Okay. Come on, now.
Ah, yes, sir! What you got? You want the towel? With a scarf and a towel and a kiss.
[???] Here's the towel, here's the scarf, there's a kiss.
Heh. Lord have Mercy.
I like... That's show-biz, Honey!
You're not helping a bit [???], you know that, aren't you? [???] becoming unglued [???].
I like to ask, uh, to be relieved for a few minutes, now. Just [???] I'm gonna do next year.
I'm doing-I-I'd go on about you, too, but I mean I can't... Okay...
I'd like to tell you a little bit about, uh, no, uh.. h-h-how it started and when I started in... And all this stuff, because a lot of it has been so inaccurate... A lot of people have already known... uh... what really happened, I-I-I just got out of high school, and, uh... I was driving a truck. And I was, uh, I was... I was studying to be an electrician... and, uh... I got wired the wrong way, man, [???]. But, uh, I was studying to be an electrician, and... And, uh... One day, I was-I was driving my truck, and I had a lunch break, and I went into a little record shop and I made a record for a guy, a little... demonstration record. Well, the guy put the record out, in-in Memphis... Memphis... Memphis... [???]... It's my hometown, you gotta be loose when you say it, you know? Where you from, boy? Memphis. And, uh, [???]. Anyway, the guy put the record out, and... I-It became pretty big in Memphis, and, uh... and... all over the... the South, and certain parts, but nobody had really heard of me, so I was... I was working for about a year-and-a-half and in nightclubs and... Football fields, barns... Losing a hayride, yes sir... and, uh... and then, I-I met Colonel Parker. And, uh... so, they arranged to put me on television and they-they put me on television, and then somewhere in 1956 [???]... uh... I did four shows on a Jackie Gleason show, and I did, uh... three or four shows on the... Ed Sullivan Show, and did the Steve Allen Show, and they made me dress in a tuxedo on the Steve Allen Show, and stand perfectly still, I couldn't-couldn't move, I was standing like this, and had me singing to a dog, man. It was a dog here, you know. and I'm singing, "YOU AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A HOUND DOG", and the dog's looking at me like, you know, "What are you doing, calling me names, or what?" You know. S-So... And they photographed me from here up, and, uh... So forth, you know. It was pretty... hairy, back then. So uh, anyway, I went into the Army, in 19-1958, I got drafted one one to the army for two years, I came out in 1960, and I made, eh... Some movies, you know, GI Blues, and... Blue Hawaii and several pictures, it did very well for me, thank you. But as the years went by, I-I really missed, uh... The, uh... The people, the-the audience contact. I really was getting bugged, I-I... Uh... I was doing so many movies, and I couldn't really... Do what I... Could do, you know, they would say 'Action' and I'd go, "Who-huh? What? 'Memphis'." You know. And so "That ain't what you're supposed to say", and I said, "Huh?"
So, anyway... It-y'all kept going and I really wanted to come back, and so this is-that's why I'm here tonight, and, uh, I just wanted to give you a brief, uh...
And I tell you what, if you think long hair and sideburns were-were freaky now, 14 years ago, man. I couldn't walk around the street, man, some guys'd say "Hey, you're Elvis Presley", and I go, "POW!!!", you know. I go, "Huh-huh! Memphis." So, anyway, you didn't know you were coming to see a crazy man, did you? This-I got a list here with 228 songs on it... And I can only do 200, so I got to drop the 28... I'd like to do a medley of some of my... Biggest records for you. They were actually no bigger than the rest of them, they were all about... same side, when it sounds impressive.
Now I hope you have a good time, we're gonna sing a lot of songs, and whistle-nah-naw-we're gonna sing a lot of songs and, uh... Walk around and sweat...
So, just, uh... go relax and enjoy yourself.
That made no sense at all, did it? No sense at all. Go relax, enjoy yourself. So I'll do the same song over again, that'll be alright. Ah... Is that a pink light? I! Woo! I don't know what happened, folks, I just go nuts sometimes. Don't do that, Honey. If you see us laughing, [???], we're used to laughing at ourselves, and we just have a little fun, you know. I'm from-uh... From Memphis, Missouri. You don't believe that? Okay, how about Memphis, Kansas, you believe then? Well. Is it people up there? Please. Honey, do you have to cry? What do you want? What do you want, man? It's a scarf. I'd use it, though. Hang on.
You're trying to bribe me, aren't you, with those flowers? Okay.
He works, I'll be over in a minute. I just- I'd like to do the last line of that song over again. I'd like to listen to our bass singer, on the very last line, listen to him. He g-He goes down, now. He goes down to a... a-an E, below flat, whatever that is. Low flat, I never heard of that. You ever heard of that, Ronnie? It's on your drum. Roll flat. Chinese guy.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm the NBC Peacock. Hope you have a good time this afternoon. I ain't done nothing yet, wait a minute.
Well...
Well-well-well, well...
WHA-AT???
Where was I? Oh.
[Drum solo]
I shouldn't laugh at a [???]. I can't help it. I was born a drummer.
[???], uh... I always wanted to be in a gospel quartet. Like, you know. Understand? It wouldn't work. Can you see me standing full gown like
[Drum solo]
Body flying around all over the stage? England loves you. I thought I was in Texas. What is it? He's mainland?
If I keep drinking water, folks, it's because it's-it's very dry up here, and you got to keep it to you... WHAT?!?!?
What do you want, Honey? Tell me!
Ah, that was a little girl? Okay.
[Little Girl]
My mother wants a scarf!

[Presley]
Your mother wants a scarf! She put you up to it, right? Be careful [???]. Don't fall down, okay? Come on, just put it up here. Now, turn around. Anyway, so you have to drink a lot of water during these shows to keep going so if I have to stop and everything, just... watch me and look at my... little red things in my patch here... [???] didn't talk about you, so you know, say - is that him? He's got his name on his guitar, [???]. I thought he was bigger than that man. Anyway, you know what I can't do? Sing and drink water at the same time. I love you, too, honey. [???] people in the audience that I can say hello to? A little [???] in the audience.
[Woman screams]
She's a little wild in here, boy. But before I do anything else, I...
[Laughs]
[???], man, I'll tell you. Uh-huh, uh, before I do anything else, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce the members of my crew that are doing such a fantastic job for me... On the piano is Colonel Parker.
Well...
Well-well-well-well-well-well-well...